Work is crazy busy. The students are in the middle of a writing project. Yesterday during recess I had no less than two students talking to me at the same time with three on deck the entire 15 minutes. It sounded something like this.
Joe: I only have half my paper printed for writer’s workshop today but I think I should get full credit because my printer stopped working in the middle of printing it out.
Me taking the paper and looking it over. Interesting how the ink looks perfect, and it stops right after a paragraph in the middle of a page. You’ll only get credit for how much you brought to class today for peer conferences.
Steve: I wrote my draft Miss.
Me: That’s great Steve.
Joe: But Miss, excuse me, but you don’t understand, it was like a technological flaw and not my fault. I think I should get full credit.
Me: Why didn’t you bring it on your jump drive and print it here? You always have a jump drive.
Steve: I printed it and brought it on time. Look!
Me: That is awesome Steve. I think this may be your first time on time. Hang onto it, today is for peer conferences. Bring it after school to tutorial if you want me to read it.
Kurt: Miss…
Joe: Miss Pseudo, maybe I didn’t explain it right, you see…
Me: Joe. The grade today is called “draft on time.” It’s not a big grade. But if I give you full credit for half a draft, every student with their draft half done will chime in and tell me they have printer issues.
Kurt: Miss Pseudo…
Darren and Chelsea walking in: MISS! Did we have homework? What’s due today?
Me: If you don’t know, too late already.
Joe: Miss, I really must not be explaining myself well or I think you would appreciate my situation here...
Kurt: Miss… PLEASE. I need a pass to the health room...
Me: What’s wrong with you?
Kurt: I feel like I’m going to barf, right now, like on everything.
I wrote him a health pass quickly. Kurt never has his homework on time and there is a good chance the barfing was a ruse, but who wants to take chances on something like that.
Plus, I think I could have gotten in trouble if I asked him to direct his spewage at Joe. Or Joe's half written paper.
For more randomness, head on over to Keely at the Unmom's
You know, I don't believe I've EVER had that random of a post, much less a conversation. And I can get pretty random.
ReplyDeleteTeachers should automatically be made saints. No nominating, no debating, no waiting - just straight to sainthood.
When we've had printer issues for important papers (and it has happened) my kids have emailed the whole paper to their teacher at school. That way the teacher knows the work was done and it can be printed at school. Problem solved.
ReplyDeleteThat kid is an amateur! Rule one is to end in the middle of a sentence at the end of a page. Sheesh! Must i teach this new generation everything! :p
ReplyDeleteGood call on writing that health pass. There are some risks you just don't want to take. And at least he gave you fair warning - in my class (during science lab) it's usually "Uhh...Mr D? Dude, I just threw up on my lab partner."
ReplyDeleteYep, very wise, don't take chances with that.
ReplyDeleteI suppose I can look back with pride on that I never, ever once tried any excuses, I just did the work. And on the very rare occasions where I messed up, I took my lumps like a man. Well, half-man, I was still a boy then.
These kids today, always with the excuses (grump)..
That made me so dizy. I don't know how to manage to handle all that.
ReplyDeleteI was a model student. Work always on time, never claimed that the computer lost a file or the printer ran out of ink. Had you taught me you would have loved it...
ReplyDelete...Yeah, right.
Funny how kids think they know more than we do. Heck- we invented it all :)
ReplyDeleteHave a great RTT!
http://iamharriet.blogspot.com/2009/10/woman-scares-off-burglar-by-acting-like.html
Wise not to chance the barf.
ReplyDeleteYour students sound as annoying, I mean adorable and special, as my patients.
Good try Joe... Too funny!
ReplyDeleteDo you ever just turn around and walk out of the room?
ReplyDeleteYou might have gotten in trouble but it might have been worth it. LOL I was never that clever with my excuses.
ReplyDeleteLol! The things you deal with...
ReplyDeleteYou know, there's a good reason why I'm not a teacher. I don't like other people's kids all that much.
ReplyDeleteGod bless you and all teachers for putting up with stuff.
I'm with Jan on this one...Sainthood!
ReplyDeleteAt least Joe was persistent.
ReplyDeleteWhat a fun job you have. Wild times.
ReplyDeleteYeah, good call on avoiding the puking teenager. Trust me on that one.
ReplyDeleteAlso? I literally played cat and mouse with a student today. It did not end well. That sort of day makes me long for lame HW excuses.
xxoo
LOL! You did the right thing. There was a teacher in my high school who denied her student a health pass. Yep. He threw up. All over her white coat...
ReplyDeleteShortly thereafter she left teaching.
I also second the sainthood comment. Seriously, just do the work man. And these kids, there's so many different forms you can easily carry your paper in, email it to yourself, use your flash drive, email it to your teacher, whatever. If I was that kid's parent I would have said, go in early and use the printers at school. Whatever, *I* always got my stuff done on time. This is when I worked off an Apple IIe. Those dot matrixes could be a little tricky.
ReplyDeleteYou sure the dog didn't eat the other half?
ReplyDeleteOf the printer, I mean. . .
lol. that was amazing! if you only understood though...smiles.
ReplyDeleteWOW! You have more random in one conversation than I have in a week!
ReplyDeleteseriously....that IS my classroom. I can't multitask with anything else, but I can handle 3-4 teens all wanting different things at once and interrupting each other to get it. Ain't it grand?? =)
ReplyDeleteOh, and I LOVE those "my printer stopped working" excuses.
Oh dear lord! I can only imagine the conversations you get to have every single day. Enough to make a person want to come out of their skin...lol. You teachers are amazing people...you already know I think that. XXOO
ReplyDeleteAhh, the joys of a bunch of scatterbrained kids. One of my friends is a high school English teacher and got a paper handed in the other day with a story about how the kid was going to kill her. Nice, no?
ReplyDeleteI haven't said lately but here goes, "I have so much respect for teachers who love to teach our children, regardless of how young or old they are. Thank you so much!"
ReplyDeleteBarf always gets the pass! I used to try things like broken bones. Never worked. Even when I walked into class the next day with a cast on my arm.
ReplyDeleteWow! Teaching and parenting can be very similar. When you get frustrated with your students do you call them the wrong names like I do my kids? If Joe ever needs some pointers on how to pull one over on the teacher you can send him my way. Sounds like he needs some work still.
ReplyDeleteHa! "technological flaw"!!! Love that. I was never that creative with my excuses a hundred years ago when I was in school :-)
ReplyDeletexo
I agree with the commenter that said you're a saint. I can barely handle my one high-schooler and her homework today, let alone a class full!
ReplyDeleteWhat, no "the dog ate my homework?" I think my favorite is:
ReplyDeleteDid we have homework? What’s due today?
Ugh, and like you I would have written the note lightning fast just in case...
"too late already!" bahahaahahaahahahaah!
ReplyDeletePoor Joe.
A "barf pass" is a gimme!!! This child has it down.
ReplyDeleteI do not like to be circled by children. I am lucky they are old enough to help each other.
Oh my! in the words of Wayne from Wayne's world "if you're going to spew spewin in this?" hahha a
ReplyDeleteAny suggestions on how to get a 10yrold to remember to bring home his math homework from out of his desk?
I probably would have been tempted to encourage him to barf in Joe's direction, too...probably a good thing you just gave him a Health pass instead... ;)
ReplyDeleteI think my son knows Joe. His WIP college essays all stop after one paragraph.
ReplyDelete