Saturday, February 7, 2009

Sitting Here in Limbo


What I want to know is this?? Has anyone ever died from living with teenagers? The angst? The mood swings? The drama?

What happens when you put a volatile teenage boy with horrible impulse control, a smart ass mouth, and a tenacity the likes of which should be harnessed and used to heat all homes in the Midwest in the same house with an edgy, quick tempered father who is worried about finances and having his hours cut at work?

There are days when I do believe the answer to the above question is this. What happens is you create a mother who has brief periods of thinking about becoming a hobo. Hopping a train with a backpack, a notepad, and a good book sounds like a peaceful life compared to the shit storm of living with boys and men.

49 comments:

Sarah's Blogtastic Adventures said...

I can relate even though mine are toddlers and 7 year olds who think they are teenagers! : )

Sandi said...

I totally relate, If you make to Cali, would you mind picking me up? I have my own backpack, and my own books.

mo.stoneskin said...

Problem is, there will always be boys and men on the road too. You can't avoid us completely.

Michelle said...

Sometimes the hobo life really does look good, doesn't it?

thistle said...

Oh my...PerfectSister could totally relate to this post...her tactic is to put them both out in the garage and then close and lock the door and let them work it out. It's actually pretty funny...later...maybe not so much at the time.

Generally speaking, isn't there less post-confrontation angst once it's worked out than say...that which might com up in a little female on female battle?

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

Sarah, Sandi and Michelle - Perhaps we should have a hobo retreat?

stoneskin - evidently not,

thistle - I guess I was given the extremes in my two children. My daughter and I are both peaceful and conflict avoiders. When we are moody, just leave us alone. We don't go looking for trouble. I would take daughter with me on the train.

Kristan said...

Buy a fire extinguisher. Use it when necessary. The metaphor won't be subtle. It doesn't need to be.

Or become a hobo.

:\

Queen Bee said...

This is interesting. I always thought that teenage girls are worse. Maybe because I was one and I never lived with teenage boys.

I'm thinking that's a good thing.

Smart Mouth Broad said...

I'm glad we only had girls for this very reason. MHS combined with a young,, smart mouth teenage boy is a recipe for disaster.

Sounds like a good time for you and your daughter to go out for the night, the weekend, a month?

True Blue Texan said...

Ladies, I can say with quiet authority that the gender thing is not the issue. My eldest daughter was moody, smart mouthed and just didn't know when to shut up. I am quick tempered and have a tendency to get loud and obnoxious when angry. We mixed like oil and water, which is funny (not) when you consider that we have very similar personalities. Teenagers are teenagers. There are days when you want to change the locks after they leave for school.
If you can manage to not completely alienate them as they travel this bumpy road of hormone laden drama, when you come out the other end, all will be well. Know when to apologize. Know when to push back. And know when to walk away.

Just keep telling yourself, this too shall pass.

Melissa B. said...

Oh, gosh...can I become a hobo with you? I love the whole Grapes of Wrath imagery thing. You know, you should patent your idea of heating Midwest homes...you could make millions! BTW…don’t forget Sx3 tomorrow. It has a Texas-sized theme. Something about armadillos?

only a movie said...

I'm in, I'm in! Let's go! I've got lots of books. I can load the iPod and get some portable speakers so you can listen too... We'll need water bottles, snacks (I like Kashi bars, how about you?) What else? I've got all my hiking gear.

Can I ship the boy off to your island?

(He's actually in NYC w/ his father right now, so I can't complain, but by Monday night, I'll be loading up my backpack to meet you.)

Hang in there Pseudo.

creative kerfuffle said...

i think we'll have this issue in reverse, me and the girl (who's 12) when she's a teen. the boy and the hubs are the calmer, more laid back while the girl and i sound like your son and husband. throw in double pms and i'm sure it will be LOADS of fun. NOT.

Dave said...

Well the mood of my 14 year old would change in a heartbeat if I could get him out of the mounds of snow and ice and move him to your part of the planet. He would never complain again, nor I

Eudea-Mamia said...

I'm debating Mexico. I hear you can completely disappear.

Wanna come?

Beth said...

Well, if we run away, I vote for a warm place. Maybe we could go stay with Braja.

My step-daughters make my boys seem like calm, well-adjusted people. They do have their moments - but they are so minor in comparison. Now my husband has quite the dramatic flair. When he is upset, the entire house is upset. Except the dog.

Hope it all calms down soon.

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

Back after a long walk and you all have brought a smile to my face. Finally.

I was spoiled with the girl, we are both laid back and hate conflict and just avoid people when we are feeling grumpy.

My men go looking for a victim for venting and good god when they are both feeling prick(ly).

Movie - you cracked me up. If you send your boy over we'll let the boys all implode the island while we play Jack Kerouac with all the goods.

wesayitbetter said...

I say to her, go for it :)

Twenty Four At Heart said...

I think we live in the same house.

Jan said...

Ah, Pseudo, the next time I'm tempted to run away from home for those EXACT same reasons, I'll know who to call to keep me company.

You have SO got my complete sympathy.

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

It's nice to know I'll have great company if I run away from home.

derfina said...

Used to make me consider testosterone supplements (in the vein of "if ya can't beat'em, join'em". Shoulda beat'em.).

Debbie said...

Ah yes, the teenage emotions. I'm living with three of them and a tween. Happy times.

McEwens said...

Oh boy, one of those weeks, huh? Let me just tell you there DOES come a day they move out. It is sad, until they drive to the corner and then,,,PARTY!!!! Then they come home for break.....

Hope today is a better day!

smiles4u said...

Now my experience was the opposite...my 2 sons were much easier then my 3 daughters...nonetheless I can relate to feeling like running away over things like this. I do not miss those days with the teenage moods. God help me when my two little people get to that point...knowing what's coming almost makes it worse. I can already tell that my sweet little lady who already displays thse moments of not being so sweet is going to give me some trouble. Maybe by then I will be too old for it to bother me...lol!

There are days that the life of a hobo sounds appealing to me so if you happen to travel through Minnesota I just may have to join the group!

LiLu said...

If you make a break for somewhere sunny, take me with you!

Vodka Mom said...

Shall we start a "Moms in hell" club?? I am IN girl.

Vodka Mom said...

of course, being in Hawaii automatically negates your membership.

Rikki said...

I distinctly remember one day when my daughters were 15, 13, and 2. I threw open the door and announced "HERE. I am setting you free. To fend for yourselves, live as you wish, and TAKE THE BABY WITH YOU."

*sigh* they stayed. So I bought a punching bag and purple gloves and went to garage sales to buy old plates to throw or shoot and we all did much better after that.

And I survived (so far) - my oldest is 20.

Joanie said...

Apparently my home is the place where people go when they run away. DO NOT SEND YOUR SON TO ME!!! But please feel free to bring yourself. I have a spare room, and can stock whatever kind of alcohol you need to get through this. And I will join you (can't have you drinking alone!) Vodkamom lives a mere 4 hours west of me. I'm sure Queen Bee can take over her class for a few days.
We can make it a party!

I was so blessed that my only son is so laid back, you hardly know he's here when he is here. But I have 2 daughters who bookend him. Both drama queens. And it's amazing that my youngest is still alive.

My oldest did not move home after college graduation and I was SO happy! My son plans to go to grad school, so he won't be around. The youngest BETTER NOT plan to move home after she graduated in 4 1/2 years!

I have put in my time. I'm done raising kids. They are free to go wherever they want, except home!

Vic said...

I have a 14 year old daughter with Linda Blair mood swings, and a son AND husband with ADD. The dog and I are getting on the train. See you at the depot.

Just B said...

So with you on the husband-grumpy-from-money-woes. Unfortunately I have more in common with your son! I am my own worst enemy and should be better at avoiding these conflicts than a teenage boy. But alas, we are who we are.

Take more walks!!! Just the photos of the scenery from your walks soothed me. I can imagine how much of a balm the real thing is (even with your sad-ghetto conveyer of tunes).

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

Vodka mom - i really need to be in the club, cause even with the great weather and the beaches, eventually I have to go home and hell starts all over.

I'm loving the stories. Hope it deosn't make me an awful person to know that others have wanted to walk away from their families on some days.

Maybe I could ship the two males out somewhere? Then we can have the mms from hell club here....

bernthis said...

I'm a single mother of a girl who is 5- I seriously have no idea how to help you. Good luck my friend

WA said...

Well, they're puttin' up resistance, but I know my faith will lead me on.

Faith or wine, I guess. :)

Wendi Aarons

Casey said...

I thought having a toddler was bad, I guess we have more in store for us down the line....

I hope you guys find peace soon! If not, you can come hang here in FL.

Fragrant Liar said...

I didn't have boys. I only had daughters - four of them, and let me assure you, they were the epitome of all things hormonal and bitchy. Combined with the men in my life at different times, I wondered if I would survive -- sane, at least. But you do. Hang in there, baby. It'll get better.

Anna Lefler said...

Oh, I'm so scared. Morticia's only 10 and already the drama is causing me to ask myself questions like, "Is smoking crack truly *wrong*? I mean, how wrong could it be compared to, you know, other things?"

[sigh]

Thanks so much, BTW, for your sweet comment on my blog. That means a lot to me. (And the feeling is muy mutual.)

XO

Anna

Sunny said...

I'm not a mom, I'm a teenager's sister and the sister's worth three boys. Living with her is a torture, but I know she'll stop being a teenager in 6 years. The thought keeps me going.

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

Monday Monday. The man and the boy have returned to normal people over here for now. Daughter and I are rmembering why we are fond of them.

I'd write a new post, but need to go to work.

Why isn't there a soap opera called "As the hormones rage..."

Jack said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jack said...

They do eventually turn back to human beings again. Be patient, it will happen :)

Thanks for the tune!

Captain Dumbass said...

Do you have trains in Hawaii?

Mama Dawg said...

I had a day like this yesterday. I just wanted to say "Fuck it" and leave and never come back.

Then, I walked 3 miles...and that pulled me out of my funk.

Heather said...

Totally there with you!!! Boy's hormons aren't something I'm used to dealing with!!! Their first instinct is to be angry!!!

Laura said...

COLLEGE. It was invented for a reason, and it comes at 18 when you can't take another second of their attitude and vocabulary. We're on countdown here with the 17-year old. Another alternative JOB. Just get them out of the house as much as possible.

Lynn - the piggy bank painter said...

Thank goodness I have girls!

D'Arcy said...

Yeah, I've almost decided that teenagers can kill. This is why I only teach them, I don't know if I could live with them.

Jess :) said...

Ahh, now I get it. Your situation here is exactly what my Mom went through this past semester when I was finishing up my student teaching, my one brother was away at college for the first time, and my poor Momma was home with my 17 year old brother and 14 year old father.

Funny thing, is she actually brought up the idea of her and I becoming hobos... but it came out as, "Jess! Look, a train... Let's hop on and be homos together!" Homos. Nice, Mom. That's not quite right on multiple levels.