Wednesday, October 1, 2008

It's Almost the End of the Quarter

As the scene the following parts will be played by:
Me: phhhst, 10th grade English teacher
MSHT: Male student who is having a hard time paying attention
GCP: General Class Population
FSMU: Female student who hopes to get the education she needs to move to the mainland and go to a University.

Me: May I please have your attention focused over here to the dry erase board. It’s the last week of the quarter and you have an exam and a writing project. Let’s go over the due dates and after school tutoring hours.

MSHT (to female student to his left): blah blah blah yada yada yada

Me (according to PC code of not singling out a student and causing needless embarrassment): Excuse me, can everyone FOCUS THIS WAY. We don’t have time for fooling around. As soon as I’m confidant you all know what to do, you have the rest of the class to get it done.

MSHT (to male student on his right): blah blah blah yada yada yada

Me staring at the back of MSHT’s head and waiting for him to notice.

GCP (in both whispers and hisses): she’s waiting for you to pay attention.

MSHT turns and smiles

Me: OK now, everyone…

MSHT turns in seat to say something to the student behind him.

Me: DUUUDE. Seriously.

MSHT (baffled): Did you just call me dude?

Me: Can we go on now?

MSHT: You called me dude. That’s weird. That’s like a word I’d use.

Me: My generation made the word dude popular. And I think it actually originated in Southern California, where I’m originally from. Technically, every time you use the word “dude” you are supposed to pay me a dollar.

MSHT: Really?

FSMU: Oh. My. God. Seriously.

16 comments:

only a movie said...

Wicked funny. I can picture the whole scene. We say *dude* all the time to the little kids.
I wish I could post such transcripts. Damned confidentiality.

hillgrandmom said...

:)Can imagine the scene.

cookingsherri said...

Hahahahaha! I really did laugh out loud. Love this post and creative style. You must be the coolest 10th grade teacher around. So glad you posted on my blog so that I could find yours.

Kristan said...

LOL! Oh children...

Eudae-mamia said...

I would laugh, but it really makes me want to cry. When did "we" become the "uncool?!"

Like it totally bites.

Em

thistle said...

Good comeback!...i think most kids appreciate an adult's ability to catch them with lines like that...so much more effective than just ragging on them...

you'd have made Mr. Hand and Spiccolli proud!

great post!

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

OMG I'm Mr Hand. Good call thistle. Thanks for laughing with me everyone, the end of the quarter gets a bit too intense and draining.

Movie - Your tales would be so awesome.

goodfather said...

Duuuuude!! Oops. I owe you a dollar now. It's in the mail.

Great post! You are obviously a fantastic teacher - you remind me of my 11th grade AP English teacher, who was AWESOME.

Mama Dawg said...

I like FMSU.

I use the word Dude way too much. And I'm from Mississippi.

Jay Jay said...

I just had a student call me dude the other day and I was kind of shocked considering I'm a female. Oh well you know the young they probably think they popularized rock and roll. I had my 16 year old son ask me if I ever heard of the group KISS - imagine that. LOL

JayJay

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

Thank-you Goodfather. I the AP teacher at our school is fantastic. I'd like to think I have fantastic moments..
Mama Dawg - I hope the next time you have a video on your blog you say dude so I can hearit with a Mississippi accent.
Jay Jay - Teenagers just always seem to assume they are cool because of their youth. Not realizing it takes some withitness.

Robin said...

Hilarious.

How many ways can one say "Dude"? These are a year old but your post reminded me of them:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WmFBOVZ6BLM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yZ6YiNOknHw&NR=1

There are more of them but one can take only so much. Dude.

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

Thanks Robyn - I'll go check them out. A lttle laugh after the debates.

Vodka Mom said...

hold your horses. Are you teaching kindergarten?

Laura said...

Dude! Are you letting kids in on the secret that we are real people? NO! That will ruin it for the rest of us. But, hey, like I can't get how, like, they would think we are like, you know, one of them.

shaunna said...

dude, you are fucking awesome. those kids are lucky.