Random Tuesday: TODAY, also known as Black Tuesday

I have to be to work at 7:45. The first day back is called admin day. I went to bed early and set my alarm for 4 AM; I planned on having two hours in the morning to myself before I had to get ready for work.

I woke up at 2 and could not go back to sleep. Figured I’d give in to the insomnia and show up for my first day of work out of sorts with a large cup of coffee. Thanks Michele for reminding me how important it is to have a large cup of coffee before endlessly long hours of sitting on my arse listening to PowerPoint presentations.

My last day of summer break was spent quietly. Teen Son stayed home to “spend the day with me.” At 17, he had fully come into the whole hanging out with peers thing this summer. He had even missed family summer movie and Cheesecake Factory day. And he loves cheesecake. But yesterday he actually said, “I kept telling myself we’d have a mom and son day later, but I guess since you have to go back to work tomorrow there is no later.”

We went and saw Harry Potter together. Got his school supplies. Ate haupia and chocolate cream pie….

During this last week of break, I spent nearly three days fighting a migraine, whilst fighting to get the right migraine medicine. It’s a long story and the details shout BORING, but suffice it to say my doctor’s nurse blamed the pharmacy and the pharmacy blamed my doctor’s office for me getting the wrong meds. It took two days to straighten the mess out so I could get the right meds without having to pay $200, since our insurance will only refill my migraine meds once a month.

Imagine frustrating phone calls with long periods of being put on hold while you have barely the edge taken off a migraine headache.

What the fuck were they thinking? Migraine Pseudo is about as bitchy a Pseudo as there is, just one step below Pseudo pissed off at Teen Son. Of course, there is the occasional horrible scenario of Migraine Pseudo pissed off at Teen Son. But she is way past bitchy, we call her Psycho Pseudo. Not pretty.

My on and off migraine lasted from Thursday night to Sunday morning. Nice. Friday night my girlfriends got together to celebrate a birthday. My friend whose birthday it was has a sailboat. The girls all brought pupus and wine and sat on the boat in the harbor slip starting at sunset.

They didn’t even take the boat out, since birthday girl is the sailor and she could not be expected to work her own birthday party.

Between Saturday and Sunday, three of my friends called to check on me and see if I was feeling better. They all said the get together was lovely and relaxing. A perfect summer evening one might say.

One might. Just not this One.

For more Random Thoughts this Tuesday, head on over to The Unmom.

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Spin Cycle: What if?

What if I did not begin getting migraines as a child?
Brain bursting pain starting at twelve years of age,
doctors worried that I had a brain tumor,
brain scans back in the day when they stuck needles all over your head,
sleepovers where the slightest twinge of a migraine aura
caused gut clenching anxiety that I would embarrass myself.
Throwing up in my friend’s bathroom,
when I had been invited over to play.

What if I did not suffer with chronic migraine syndrome
through my entire adulthood?
Juggling school and jobs,
staying ahead in case I would lose days to a headache
lying in a room devoid of light and sound
sometimes for days at a time.
Hearing my husband hush the children crying for mama
pulling them away from the door.

What if I had not spent five or six days a month
lying in bed praying for the pain to stop,
sometimes wishing the top of my head would blow off
so the pressure could escape.
What if I added up the time migraines have taken over my life?
Six days a month before Imitrex and Maxalt were invented,
two days a month since the medications,
from age twelve to fifty-one.
That would total about 2,328 days,
6.37 years.
What would I have done with that 6.37 years?
What if?

For more "What if" spins, head on over to Sprite's Keeper.

Gratitude Weekend

A big thank-you to everyone who pushed, pulled, cheered, and cajoled me out of my pity party yesterday. I am migraine free for two days now, so it looks like Christmas is going up this morning. Thank-you to flurrious and thistle who pointed out that my new computer has Windows Media Player installed. Oh hello me. It’s amazing that I figured out everything I have in order to have a blog.

Two bloggers that really snapped me back into reality were Words of Wisdom from a Smart Mouthed Broad and My Life Interrupted. These two posts about helping others during the holiday season put things back into perspective for me in a big way.

I could not leave such a whiney post up for the weekend, so before I go off to tackle the tree, the décor, the gift making, the gift wrapping… OK I’m going to stop writing about it before I get my migraine back. But before I go off, I would like to share something that totally made my week.

In my teacher mailbox I received a “Thanks” booklet. One of the 11th grade math teachers (yes. Math. How cool is that?) had his students write thank-you notes to a few teachers they had in their 9th or 10th grade years. The math teacher then consolidated these notes into booklets by teacher, put a cover on them, and slipped them into our mailboxes. Here’s a few.

The All-Star It’s Kind of Like Bragging, but WTF, These Made My Decade Notes

Dear Ms Pseudo,
Thank-you for being the best English teacher I’ve ever had. You sparked my interest in books and helped me improve my writing. I will continue to improve my writing skills because of your influence.

Dear Ms Pseudo,
Thank-you for a great year. The books you chose taught me a lot and I’ve never learned more in an English class. You were a great teacher.

Dear Ms Pseudo,
Thank-you for encouraging me to do my best, and supporting me. It really helped push me to become a better writer.

The Sweetest, Quietest Kid, Who I had No Idea Liked My Class Note

Dear Ms Pseudo,
Thank-you for passing me my sophomore year. I have some fun memories of your class, like when we did the skit.

The Back-Handed Compliment that Makes Me Smile Each and Every Time I read them Notes

Dear Ms Pseudo,
Thank-you for being one of the coolest teachers. You were always trying to act funny. Sometimes you were.

Dear Ms Pseudo,
Thank-you for teaching me about literature that I found putrid at first glance, because afterwards I took a liking to those books.

The I Absolutely Loved Teaching this Kid Because He Always Tried His Best Note

Dear Ms Pseudo,
Thank-you for all the teaching you have done for me in english. Wished you could of been my english teacher this year to. Hope you have a good Thanks Giving.

Oh. Anyone who misread me yesterday and thought my husband had left me (yeah, my writing must have needed some tuning up on that post), what I tried to say was that he turned a quick run to Wal-Mart for a tree stand into a 3 hour shopping trip with Son and I feel asleep before they got back.

WANTED

I swear I wasn’t stressing out.

I was seriously trying to go with the flow, be happy with what I could get done. Let go of what I couldn’t get to until the next day.

I was dealing with the frantic pace of work and the week before finals.

With two parent meetings this week when I needed to be tutoring students. Or grading. Or Christmas shopping. Or Christmas a million other things.

My daughter’s frantic pace of finishing up 17 credits at UH and opening week of the play she is in. And she started a new job.

Did I mention she commutes 44 miles round trip each day to school?

Of juggling cars.

So I was more than a little bummed when I woke up at 1 AM Monday night with a migraine.

And it didn’t respond to the Imitrex by 4 AM so I had to take another.

Then, the headache came back in the middle of the night on Tuesday.

I took my last Imitrex. I can’t refill my prescription until the 15th because our insurance will only pay for one refill every 27 days. Even though my internist has written them two letters saying my chronic migraine syndrome acts up on a more regular basis than the amount of pills they are willing to supply.

I could pay $130. But it’s Christmas. Things are tight. Tuition is due. So I dealt with it for a day without migraine meds.

The headache went away yesterday. Yea.

So we got the Christmas boxes down and the tree down. Yeah, I know. We have a fake tree. But I tried the real tree over here, and what with the tropical weather, it dies faster than Christmas shopping days fly past. By Christmas morning it would look like a giant matchstick ready to spontaneously combust.

So, like I was saying, we got the Christmas stuff down last night. Which surprised me because my husband was in a foul mood. The night before, my daughter got a flat tire on her way home.
At 11 at night.

Afraid to stop? Unwilling? She drove my car two miles on a flat tire. So, my husband spent the day at the tire center at Sears. The warranty did not cover $150 for the alignment.

So, like I was saying, we got the Christmas stuff down last night.

Then, the 15 year old tree stand broke. My husband went out to get a new one and decided to kill 1,000 birds with one stone and never got back.

This morning, there is an artificial tree in three parts on the floor.

There are eight boxes hanging out with the tree parts. They are having a party.

I’m supposed to be making a DVD that will serve as a Christmas present for many a peoples.

But our computer that we bought last summer does not have a movie making software program, so I am supposed to be researching what to buy. I was supposed to do that last month.

Anyone out there know of a good editing program that can make videos and slideshows on a PC? My daughter suggested Vegas?

Appreciating all advice as the way things are going, Christmas is going to occur at our home around January 5th.

Oh, and while I was down for the count, two of my measly 12 followers dropped me. It's a tough world out here too apparently.