Parents who get in the way of their kids' learning

This is a cheat of a post as I did not write it but received it in my email from a teacher friend who I used to work with, but she moved back to Seattle. It's probably gone viral as I am usually the last to get things.

I did, however, really think this piece was spot on with the issue.

Problem parents are only a small percent of the total parental package. However, the pain in the ass enabling and dysfunctional ones are ruining it for the rest of you. Because things have changed so much since we all were kids and schools are so afraid of getting sued that they cave to the worst of the parents and set horrible precedents. Even when they do not cave, they do next to nothing to let the parents know what is unacceptable behavior.

I once sat with friends having drinks and gave them a few anecdotal stories and they were blown away at how much time I spend dealing with unhelpful parents. Or parents who think I should run my classes to their specifications without regard to the other 29 kids in the class and what those kids' parents expectations were.

Anyways, here it is....

This summer, I met a principal who was recently named as the administrator of the year in her state. She was loved and adored by all, but she told me she was leaving the profession.

I screamed, "You can't leave us," and she quite bluntly replied, "Look, if I get an offer to lead a school system of orphans, I will be all over it, but I just can't deal with parents anymore; they are killing us."

Unfortunately, this sentiment seems to be becoming more and more prevalent. Today, new teachers remain in our profession an average of just 4.5 years, and many of them list "issues with parents" as one of their reasons for throwing in the towel. Word is spreading, and the more negativity teachers receive from parents, the harder it becomes to recruit the best and the brightest out of colleges.

So, what can we do to stem the tide? What do teachers really need parents to understand?

For starters, we are educators, not nannies. We are educated professionals who work with kids every day and often see your child in a different light than you do. If we give you advice, don't fight it. Take it, and digest it in the same way you would consider advice from a doctor or lawyer. I have become used to some parents who just don't want to hear anything negative about their child, but sometimes if you're willing to take early warning advice to heart, it can help you head off an issue that could become much greater in the future.

Trust us. At times when I tell parents that their child has been a behavior problem, I can almost see the hairs rise on their backs. They are ready to fight and defend their child, and it is exhausting. One of my biggest pet peeves is when I tell a mom something her son did and she turns, looks at him and asks, "Is that true?" Well, of course it's true. I just told you. And please don't ask whether a classmate can confirm what happened or whether another teacher might have been present. It only demeans teachers and weakens the partnership between teacher and parent.

Please quit with all the excuses

And if you really want to help your children be successful, stop making excuses for them. I was talking with a parent and her son about his summer reading assignments. He told me he hadn't started, and I let him know I was extremely disappointed because school starts in two weeks.

His mother chimed in and told me that it had been a horrible summer for them because of family issues they'd been through in July. I said I was so sorry, but I couldn't help but point out that the assignments were given in May. She quickly added that she was allowing her child some "fun time" during the summer before getting back to work in July and that it wasn't his fault the work wasn't complete.



Can you feel my pain?

Some parents will make excuses regardless of the situation, and they are raising children who will grow into adults who turn toward excuses and do not create a strong work ethic. If you don't want your child to end up 25 and jobless, sitting on your couch eating potato chips, then stop making excuses for why they aren't succeeding. Instead, focus on finding solutions.

Parents, be a partner instead of a prosecutor

And parents, you know, it's OK for your child to get in trouble sometimes. It builds character and teaches life lessons. As teachers, we are vexed by those parents who stand in the way of those lessons; we call them helicopter parents because they want to swoop in and save their child every time something goes wrong. If we give a child a 79 on a project, then that is what the child deserves. Don't set up a time to meet with me to negotiate extra credit for an 80. It's a 79, regardless of whether you think it should be a B+.

This one may be hard to accept, but you shouldn't assume that because your child makes straight A's that he/she is getting a good education. The truth is, a lot of times it's the bad teachers who give the easiest grades, because they know by giving good grades everyone will leave them alone. Parents will say, "My child has a great teacher! He made all A's this year!"

Wow. Come on now. In all honesty, it's usually the best teachers who are giving the lowest grades, because they are raising expectations. Yet, when your children receive low scores you want to complain and head to the principal's office.

Please, take a step back and get a good look at the landscape. Before you challenge those low grades you feel the teacher has "given" your child, you might need to realize your child "earned" those grades and that the teacher you are complaining about is actually the one that is providing the best education.

And please, be a partner instead of a prosecutor. I had a child cheat on a test, and his parents threatened to call a lawyer because I was labeling him a criminal. I know that sounds crazy, but principals all across the country are telling me that more and more lawyers are accompanying parents for school meetings dealing with their children.

Teachers walking on eggshells

I feel so sorry for administrators and teachers these days whose hands are completely tied. In many ways, we live in fear of what will happen next. We walk on eggshells in a watered-down education system where teachers lack the courage to be honest and speak their minds. If they make a slight mistake, it can become a major disaster.

My mom just told me a child at a local school wrote on his face with a permanent marker. The teacher tried to get it off with a wash cloth, and it left a red mark on the side of his face. The parent called the media, and the teacher lost her job. My mom, my very own mother, said, "Can you believe that woman did that?"

I felt hit in the gut. I honestly would have probably tried to get the mark off as well. To think that we might lose our jobs over something so minor is scary. Why would anyone want to enter our profession? If our teachers continue to feel threatened and scared, you will rob our schools of our best and handcuff our efforts to recruit tomorrow's outstanding educators.

Finally, deal with negative situations in a professional manner.

If your child said something happened in the classroom that concerns you, ask to meet with the teacher and approach the situation by saying, "I wanted to let you know something my child said took place in your class, because I know that children can exaggerate and that there are always two sides to every story. I was hoping you could shed some light for me." If you aren't happy with the result, then take your concerns to the principal, but above all else, never talk negatively about a teacher in front of your child. If he knows you don't respect her, he won't either, and that will lead to a whole host of new problems.

We know you love your children. We love them, too. We just ask -- and beg of you -- to trust us, support us and work with the system, not against it. We need you to have our backs, and we need you to give us the respect we deserve. Lift us up and make us feel appreciated, and we will work even harder to give your child the best education possible.

That's a teacher's promise, from me to you.

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. - Mark Twain

Well then.

Why is it that my capacity for remembering pretty much each and every conversation with my students is greater than several of the students’ capacity for remembering one sentence that comes out of my mouth?

You’ve been absent more days than you have been here. Here is a list of your missing work. I highlighted the assignments you will need to do in tutoring so I can help you. Please get started on the first one (as I hand it to him) and let me know if you have any questions or need help.

Three minutes later.

Miss. Ahhh. MISS.

Excuse me...

Mrs. Pseudo, I need help.

I get up from my desk and walk over.

What am I supposed to be doing?

The assignment I handed you.

Oh.

Phone conversation with irate mom.

Why does my son have a “0” for not turning in the form for free or reduced lunch?

Because he did not turn it in.

We don’t qualify for free or reduced lunch and there are a zillion forms at the beginning of the year. It takes me all night to fill out the ones he has to turn in. Why should I bother with something that isn’t mandatory?

I totally agree with you on this. Unfortunately, I have to keep a record of each of the zillion forms for every single one of my homeroom students. Otherwise, the front office sends me memos with lists of students I need to hound for those forms. The free or reduced lunch one is important as the powers that be use them for the data on the percentage of disadvantaged kids. The points are a way for me track if and when each form comes in. Besides,the points for that form don’t count for real. I told your son that.

Irony.

Whole chunks of my memory (I think it was good stuff too like names of cool people and random encounters) have gone missing to make room for the 10,000 conversations I have daily with students, parents, colleagues, and administrators.

Spin Cycle: Back to School

As much as I love summer, once the students walk in the door, I realize how blessed I am to be able to do what I do. and not think of politics and pay cuts

I usually start off by having the students write me a letter telling me about themselves. That way I can get a writing sample and get to know them both. Win win.

So I'll share some randoms from their letters. Jen gave us a free spin this week on the old cycle.

My favorite subject in school is language arts...

My goal is to be smart in school, but I need to warn you Ms Pseudo, I'm not perfect...

My dream is to be a professional violinist...

I want to be a doctor to help sick people and save lives, but I also want to be a singer, and I am hoping I can do both...

My favorite thing is to go to the beach with my family because we are happy and my parents forget their worries...

Since my dad passed away I have been doing bad in school...

My favorite subject is math and my least favorite is language arts. In language arts you don't have any formulas.

My favorite thing to do this summer was to play with my cousins and roll down the hell...

As a student I guess I am alright. I have my good days, but if I am acting like a punk, just warn me on the side and I will behave...

For more free spins, head on over to Jen at Sprite's Keeper!

Creativity and Public Education

I've been at a workshop the last couple of days. It was a good one. Not all of them are, but the last two days really held my interest. Lots of stuff on brain studies and how to use this information to help teach. I am a dork when it comes to learning how the brain works; I am totally fascinated.

We watched this video clip today and I'm posting it. If you have children, are involved in education, or have any interest or stake in public education - grab of cup of joe and watch the whole thing. One of the best anecdotal stories is at the end so I encourage you to watch the whole thing.


See you on Thursday for traveling posts.....

Random Intercession

AKA Why I haven't been blogging over the break like I thought I would be....

Hawaii public school teachers were on break last week. We go back to work today. As if I wasn't working all week without the kids.

The hours add up like this: 15 spent doing pacing guides from last quarter that I was supposed to do last quarter....

20 hours planning and prepping the first 3 weeks of next quarter for the 3 different classes I teach....

5 more hours writing the pacing guides for those 3 weeks and 3 classes...

10 hours grading so I can hand out 1st quarter final grades today.

* * * *

My son thought I should get back in the water. We used to be surf buds back in the day. As in the days when he was 9-14 years old and needed a ride, plus would go out to spots where an old bag felt comfortable.

So he took me out to a spot I have never been. Where he encouraged me to jump off a cliff into deep ocean and wait for the push of the wave off the cliff to "go left." And chided me for hanging out not by the cliff.

Here, check the spot out...

OK. It wasn't this big the day he took me out, but let's just say I only caught one wave, lied and told him I caught three. But the one wave was fun, but a bit too scary with the cliffs just to the side. I guess I am getting old.

********

I managed to get out to breakfast once, lunch once, and sunset drinks.... yes, once. Come on back on Thursday and I'll feature one of these spots. I am still challenged by the no camera thing, but my birthday is next month and I am pretty sure I am getting another little snap and shoot digital wonder.

For more Randoms, head on over to The Unmom's...

Household Chores and Bongs...

Did the title get your attention? Ha!

* * * * *

So. I'm trying to catch up on everything work and have been in grading crazy mode the last two days. One of the assignments is part of an historical novel unit and is a drawing that shows the inside of a Puritan house. The boy is coming in from outside carrying firewood. The girl is sitting at a cauldron of water and dipping the candles she is making. The mother is on a spinning wheel.

The students were asked to make inferences on the life of the Puritans based on that drawing.

A male student wrote that the difference between the boys and girls was that "the boys do all the hard work while the girls do easy housework."

Ack. I was slightly offended and had to hold my hand back from writing on his paper that perhaps he should volunteer to do all household chores at home for a week since household chores are so easy. To make the experiment more Puritan-ish he should not allow himself electrical helpers.

The Universe was good to me though, and within seconds I came across one girl who wrote, "Boys carried wood into the house while girls had to drop things in a pot, they had to make things to eat in a fire, they had to make clothes out of threads, and then they probably had to serve the dad and all the boys. Nowadays boys just have to take out the trash while the girls have to wash clothes, dry clothes, fold clothes and wash the dishes. The difference for boys and girls is that boys get all the fun or easy chores while girls do all the hard work."

Hehehehehehehe.

* * * * *

Hubs and I went to a memorial service the other night for the mother of one of hub's high school friends. It was a beautiful service. The mom lived in a house above Honolulu with a gigantic back patio that looks out over the city. This patio is where they held the service at sunset. There was a microphone and people came up and told stories they remembered about the woman who had passed away. Funny stories. Poignant stories. Stories of lives she had changed and lives she had influenced. I had only met her a few times, but after the service I felt as if I had known her.

Afterwards, there was a buffet and a bar and a wonderful musician playing guitar and singing. Mostly Hawaiian music, with the twinkling lights of Honolulu in the background. The musician is another high school buddy of the son. Listening to the music, looking out on the city lights, toasts to the history of the house and the life of the matriarch. It was perfect.

* * * * *

Apparently the musician didn't play his whole repertoire. When we got home hubs got on YouTube and shared this song with me that would not have been in good taste at the event.

But it's a bit fun.

Perhaps Trixie took up her bong to avoid falling into the hard chores of housework....

For more Random, head on over to Keeley at the Unmom's

Middle School Randoms

Random Tuesday on a Wednesday seems about right, yes?

My new job is still kicking my ass. I was at my last school for so long, I forgot how overwhelming a first year in a new school can be. Just when I think I have caught up with prepping and grading and miscellaneous paperwork, a tidal wave of work washes in and soaks me to the bone.

Middle school is such a different demon than high school. It could also be that I went from a middle income community to a low income community. But the kids are way needier than I am used to and have to be sat on to stay in tune. Their antics provide much blog fodder that I do not have time to write up properly.

But here is some random.

I have given detention in the last few weeks more than I ever did in the last 5 years.

For throwing bits of eraser at each other across the room.

For poking each other with pencils under the table. They are so sneaky I might not catch them, but the victims squeal.

For being not just tardy, but running late into the room like the running of the bulls in Spain, with the added feature of loud mouthed, off color remarks that get all the kids who were on task swept into the melee.

For taking the tennis balls off the chairs (split tennis balls are on all four legs of all chairs to keep the chair legs from scratching the floors...I mean I get it, let's keep the floors nice - but really...balls at the feet of 13 year olds with ants in the pants???). One student whipped the tennis ball out the door and over the rail and into the school yard. Another tried to juggle three in class, in front of me while I was teaching.

They do make me smile a lot though.

Yesterday when I was walking down the stairs at lunch, I could hear a chorus of them singing Lady Gaga. Prancing along the corridor.

Ga Ga Oh La La, I had to make a real effort to not swing and snap and prance as I walked to the cafeteria to get my lunch.

For more Random, head on over to Keeley's.

Sorry I haven't been around to visit of late. Hope to get control of my "me" time soon.

Damn It!

I’ve been teaching for awhile, 12 years full time teaching, six years part time before that.

I was at my last school ten years. Not meaning to sound cocky, but I kind of had it down. The systems within the school that is. The kids, the day to day stuff, it’s different everyday and that’s what keeps it interesting.

So, here I am at a new job in a different district. Trying to stay on top of things. However, somehow, things seemed to get the better of me last week. Nothing big, but a whole lot of little.

Like on Monday, while I was at a workshop, some kid grabbed a pair of scissors and cut the power cord to my ELMO. The sub had no idea who it was.

Then, a couple days later, while lined up outside my room to go to an assembly, one of my students spit over the rail at the kids down below. I was locking my door and didn’t see it happen. But she almost spit on an admin. Who told me about it. I thought I was doing well just to line them up this time. The first assembly I just released them to walk down because that is what we do in high school. I got schooled for that as well.

Then there was the email that I forgot to do my yard duty. Yard duty. Not something that has ever come up in my career before – a thing I thought ended at the elementary level. The memo about yard duty assignments was in my opening documents folder (there are like 40 gabillion memos and protocols there). I brought the whole kit and kaboodle home for a reread this weekend.

I have pass codes for programs. I think there are like six pass codes. I keep getting them mixed up.

Then, the clincher. The students were supposed to take a school wide computer based test and all I had to do was charge up my laptop cart. Which I did. Plugged both plugs in.

However, when I passed the laptops out to my class, with the help of the Vice Principal who was assisting me, the students all started complaining, “Miss!! My laptop is about to die. It’s almost out of battery.”

Fuck me.

The Vice Principal told me that we would have my students take the test on Monday.

Meanwhile, a techie type kid finds a switch on the side of the cart that can turn off the whole system. Apparently some ADHD dodohead kid flipped it. I never even knew the switch was there in the first place so the chances of my checking it were pretty much nill.

That afternoon at the faculty meeting, the data collection part, it was mentioned that the data for the first test would have to wait as one teacher did not get her kids tested.....

I worked this whole weekend. I’m coming in tomorrow wide eyed and ready for them. Interesting is one thing; looking and feeling like the village idiot is quite something else.

Travel Tip Thursday: Straight up and to the Point

The end of the school year in a high school is a frentic paced roller coaster of joys and angst and deadlines and pleading and silliness. One rolling in right on top of another.

So I'll cut to the chase and give you a travel tip.

When you come to Hawaii and go for a hike. Or the beach. Or where ever.

Don't leave your valuables locked in the car. Even in the trunk.

For reals.

Link on up if you'd like to join in.

10 more days left of SY 2009-2010.

A thin line...

I love my job. Well, most of the time.

But conversations like this, they make me smile.

Petunia: Miss. You like my nails?

Me: They are black.

Petunia: Yes they are. Do you like their shape?

Me: They are long and pointy. Very interesting Petunia.

Petunia: I always had them done square shaped and wanted something different. I really like these. They're fun.

Me: They almost look like little weapons. Did you get them done at _________?

Petunia: No. Some other place. But I'm not going back. I don't like the people that work there.

Me: Why? I thought you asked for your nails to be black and long and pointed like daggers.

Petunia: It's not that. The guy who did my nails is racist.

Me: ??? How do you know he's a racist?

Petunia: He said he hates gays.

Me: That's a little different than racist. Why do you think he hates gays?

Petunia: The TV was on and they had the story of Ricky Martin coming out that he was gay. And the guy says to me, "Gay men aren't real men." You know what I said to him Miss?

Me: What did you say Petunia?

Petunia: I said to him, "yeah, says the man doing my nails."

You can still enter the contest until Thursday afternoon...

Winners, Whiners, and Wisecracks

Yesterday my students were turning in a big project. While I called the tables up one at a time (can you tell I have been to a lot of wedding banquets) the other students were enjoying sharing their hard work at their tables with their peers. Although they had a new assignment they could have gotten started on...

I told them I did not mind their sharing instead of working, but to please keep the noise down.

I have one student who is just a very loud girl. A nice girl. A fun girl with a load pf personality. But VERY LOUD.

"Hey Gertrude," I yelled out towards her table, "bring it down a couple of notches."

"What Ms??? Why do you always pick on ME? Everyone is talking..."

"Yes. But I can only hear you and you are so loud I cannot hear myself think."

"Hoooo Mssssss. That's harsh. I think you hurt my feelings."

Her friend Stephanie smiled softly and poked her, whispered something I could not hear that made Gertrude whine even louder.

"Nooooooooooooot!"

* * *

Gertrude's table is called up to turn in their projects. Two of them sign in their projects and I am left with Gertrude on my left and Stephanie on my right. Gertrude wants to show me some of the details of her work, but she is talking so loud that my left ear is ringing a tune that sings something like, MIGRAINE, MIGRAINE, WHERE OH WHERE ARE YOU MIGRAINE!!!

"Gertrude, seriously, can you please tone it down? My left ear is ringing and it's making my head totally out of balance."

I don't see it coming.

Quiet, sweet Stephanie has leaned in towards my right ear. And shouts to the heavens,

"DOES THIS HELP MISS!!! Are you evened up now!"

The look of shock on my face made their day, especially, I do believe, Stephanie. I've got a new eye peeled on that girl.

* * *

One of the best things about birthdays in middle age is the cards you get...

I love my sister Shaunna. Ever noticed I don't put up photos of myself? Shaunna has one up of us for my birthday post. Want to go check us out?

Hehehe. Like I look anything like that at 52.

* * *

The first winner is..... Erin from The Locals Love It

True Random Number Generator
Min:1
Max:
Result:86
47
Powered by RANDOM.ORG

The second winner is...Brian Miller from Waystaytionone

True Random Number Generator
Min:1
Max:86
Result:
27
Powered by RANDOM.ORG

The third winner is...Debbie from Suburb Sanity

True Random Number Generator
Min: 1
Max: 86
Result:
86
Powered by RANDOM.ORG

Thank-you everyone who played along. I wish I could send you all a goodie box. You three winners, please email me a mailing address and I'll send out your packages next week.

My nanowrino is 11,584. I am taking this morning off to catch up on a little blogging, but I might not be around to visit too much this month.

For more Random Fun, head on over to The Unmom's.

Random Recess, Random Tuesday

Work is crazy busy. The students are in the middle of a writing project. Yesterday during recess I had no less than two students talking to me at the same time with three on deck the entire 15 minutes. It sounded something like this.

Joe: I only have half my paper printed for writer’s workshop today but I think I should get full credit because my printer stopped working in the middle of printing it out.

Me taking the paper and looking it over. Interesting how the ink looks perfect, and it stops right after a paragraph in the middle of a page. You’ll only get credit for how much you brought to class today for peer conferences.

Steve: I wrote my draft Miss.

Me: That’s great Steve.

Joe: But Miss, excuse me, but you don’t understand, it was like a technological flaw and not my fault. I think I should get full credit.

Me: Why didn’t you bring it on your jump drive and print it here? You always have a jump drive.

Steve: I printed it and brought it on time. Look!

Me: That is awesome Steve. I think this may be your first time on time. Hang onto it, today is for peer conferences. Bring it after school to tutorial if you want me to read it.

Kurt: Miss…

Joe: Miss Pseudo, maybe I didn’t explain it right, you see…

Me: Joe. The grade today is called “draft on time.” It’s not a big grade. But if I give you full credit for half a draft, every student with their draft half done will chime in and tell me they have printer issues.

Kurt: Miss Pseudo…

Darren and Chelsea walking in: MISS! Did we have homework? What’s due today?

Me: If you don’t know, too late already.

Joe: Miss, I really must not be explaining myself well or I think you would appreciate my situation here...

Kurt: Miss… PLEASE. I need a pass to the health room...

Me: What’s wrong with you?

Kurt: I feel like I’m going to barf, right now, like on everything.

I wrote him a health pass quickly. Kurt never has his homework on time and there is a good chance the barfing was a ruse, but who wants to take chances on something like that.

Plus, I think I could have gotten in trouble if I asked him to direct his spewage at Joe. Or Joe's half written paper.

For more randomness, head on over to Keely at the Unmom's

Women Stuff Randomness

I'm late to the party... but my time zone is working for me.

* * *

My students created “media literacy collages” as a part of a media literacy unit I taught. The collage was to represent their use of and influence by different forms of media. They were also supposed to differentiate what they considered positive from negative uses. Like…

Facebook is positive because I use it to socialize when I’m stuck at home… negative because sometimes I spend so much time on it I never do my homework.

So the kids are presenting their collages to the class. One female student, while presenting her collage, pointed out an airbrushed, better than real life hot chick.

I put this model on my poster because she is sexy. This influences me to be sexy.

She did not say if this was positive or negative in her POV. While I sat there waiting – hoping – she would go there and discuss this further, she moved on to another picture.

This is a picture of a bible. It represents the Christian channel. It influences me to be a Jesus Girl.

* * *

My friend Movie sent me a link to The Women’s Colony when I wrote about my Dream Life. Go check out The Women’s Colony. If you don’t come back I would not blame you. But try and come back.

* * *

October is breast cancer awareness month. I have been cancer free for three years and seven months. Click on the pink ribbon in the side bar. Every click helps.

I haven’t written anything in a long time about being a cancer survivor. I should. It is October. But lately I am more focused on being a survivor of raising a teenager… Except that the court is still out on that one. As in whether or not I will survive.

* * *

Go visit Vodka Mom and her cause. She is awesome. Her cause is awesome. Her contest is awesome. Go on now.

For more Randomness, head on over to all the linked fun at The Unmom’s.

Rant Fall Out

So. I googled teacher salaries by state and found this interesting website. OK. If you are not a teacher it might not be all that interesting. But it is to me and it is my blog so I'm going with it.

Anywhos, the first salary listed is starting salary. The second one listed is average salary. But the really interesting number is the third one, where the salaries are indexed by calculating the salaries along with the cost of living in the state. Go on and look where Hawaii is...

If you go to the site where this list comes from, make sure you read the first comment. The commenter sums up the situation for Hawaii teachers really well.

Illinois
$37,500
$58,686
1
Delaware
$35,854
$54,264
2
Georgia
$34,442
$48,300
3
Michigan
$35,557
$54,739
4
Pennsylvania
$34,976
$54,027
5
Ohio
$33,671
$50,314
6
Texas
$33,775
$41,744
7
Indiana
$30,844
$47,255
8
Tennessee
$32,369
$42,537
9
Minnesota
$31,532
$48,489
10
Arkansas
$28,784
$42,768
11
Colorado
$35,086
$44,439
12
Alabama
$31,368
$40,347
13
Oregon
$33,699
$50,044
14
Kentucky
$30,619
$42,592
15
Missouri
$29,281
$40,462
16
Nebraska
$29,303
$40,382
17
Oklahoma
$29,174
$38,772
18
Mississippi
$28,200
$40,576
19
Louisiana
$31,298
$40,029
20
Kansas
$27,840
$41,467
21
Connecticut
$39,259
$59,304
22
North Carolina
$27,944
$43,922
23
South Carolina
$28,568
$43,011
24
Virginia
$33,200
$43,823
25
Florida
$33,427
$43,302
26
Wyoming
$31,481
$43,255
27
Wisconsin
$25,222
$46,390
28
New Mexico
$33,730
$41,637
29
Alaska
$38,657
$53,553
30
Iowa
$27,284
$41,083
31
Washington
$30,974
$46,326
32
Idaho
$27,500
$41,150
33
Massachusetts
$35,421
$56,369
34
Arizona
$30,404
$44,672
35
New Jersey
$38,408
$58,156
36
Maryland
$37,125
$54,333
37
New York
$37,321
$57,354
38
Utah
$26,521
$40,007
39
West Virginia
$26,704
$38,284
40
South Dakota
$26,111
$34,709
41
Rhode Island
$33,815
$54,730
42
North Dakota
$24,872
$37,764
43
California
$35,760
$59,825
44
Nevada
$27,957
$44,426
45
Montana
$25,318
$39,832
46
Maine
$26,643
$40,737
47
New Hampshire
$28,279
$45,263
48
Vermont
$26,461
$46,622
49
Hawaii
$35,816
$49,292
50

Although underappreciated by my governor, I still spent most of the weekend holed up inside my house grading and prepping. Mid-term progress reports go out this week.

Kindergartners, Just Ten Years Later: A Spin Cycle Rerun

The Spin Cycle this week is to repost your favorite post.

Now, my actual favorite post is Sometimes There are Worse Things Than Nipplage. But I have reposted it before, plus it ran on Mid-Life Bloggers. So I think a lot of you have read it. It's my favorite because I think it is probably one of my best written pieces. It is one of the few that went through a revision. I kept at it a couple of days and tweaked it to get it where I liked, other than writing and posting on the same day, which is what I usually do. Also, it reminds me not to take myself too seriously - a lesson taught to me during my breast cancer days.

The post I'm spinning is my favorite post about the fun of working with teenagers. Since I just got started with a new class of sophomores, I thought it apropos to repost something about teaching. This post was inspired by Vodka Mom, who always posts the cute things her kindergartners say in class. One day while reading her blog, I thought to myself, "To think my students were that cute and innocent only 10 years ago..."

And here we go...

The following is a cross section of the first five minutes of four different classes, plus walking onto campus. The names have been changed to protect the little darlings.

Walking onto campus 45 minutes before school starts. I come through the back stairwell and a male student has a female student plastered against the wall. I'm grateful that at least they have their clothes on, know what I mean?

Hey! Knock it off.

No separation, but dirty looks in my direction.

Seriously. You two need to get out of here.

No separation. Dirtier looks in my direction.

I have a digital camera in my purse and I’m not afraid to use it. Do I need to show your mothers a picture of what you are doing?

Girl looks freaked out (finally), but boy looks like he would gladly slice my throat.

Between first bell and tardy bell:(Jan) Do you know how much the health room charges for a pad? (Me) Sorry, no. But do you need a pass to the health room to go get one? (Jan) What if I don’t have enough money? (Me) I guess you have to work that out with the health room aid. (Sadie)Hi Miss. Are we going to work on our poems today? (Bill) Why do we have to write poems? It’s not my thing. (Bob)I’m going to put a shriek bat in my poem. Miss, do you know what a shriek bat is? Do you play blah blah video game? (James) Why would you put a shriek bat in your poem? You’re supposed to write a poem about yourself. (Bob) EXCUSE ME. Maybe some of us are using similes and metaphors like we are supposed to. (James) Oh, my bad, you are so like a shriek bat. (Tom) Your mother's like a shriek bat. (Lily) Miss, can you sign my permission form? I’m going to be a tour guide for the students who are visiting from Japan next week. (Marie, Tilly, Helen, Fred, Kent – all digging into their backpacks or binders) OH! Me too. Me too. My form too. (Darlene) Hi Miss. I just got back from our family reunion. Do you have my work from last week? (Me) Darlene, review the make-up policy and come to see me in tutoring after school. Class, the tardy bell will ring in about 30 seconds. You need to be seated at that time. (Donald) Can I get a drink of water? (Me) Do I ever give you permission to be late to my class? (Ronald) Can I use the bathroom? (Me) Do I ever give you permission to be late to my class? Class. That IS the tardy bell. You can use the ten minutes of SST to study for your quiz. (Susie, Bobbie, and Chad)What Quiz?? (Me) The one that has been posted on the board and on my website for the last week. I’d like to remind you all that if you don’t know what is going on in class, you shouldn’t announce it. (Sadie) Miss. Lynn is crying in the hall. (Me, outside in hall) Lynn – are you OK? (Lynn, balling her eyes out) Miss, can I go to the health room? (Me) Of course. But are you OK? Do I need to call for a security cart to drive you? (Lynn) No. Snuffle. My boyfriend broke up with me just now. I can’t go to class like this. I need to lie down.

For more spins, head on over to Sprite's Keeper. She links all the posts on Friday.

New feature in the sidebar. Click on the sunset to find a great post.

Also, I haven't begged in awhile, but I'm tied for first with Dooce for Lord's sake in the blogger's choice awards. If you didn't cast a vote and are so inclined, I have to admit, it would be awesome to win. You can click on the badge to get there.

If You Had to Lump Them…

Would you rather get hit in the face or the stomach?

Break an arm or a leg?

Lose your sense of smell or taste?

Who would you make out with if you had to pick one of these two - or be put to death?

Sometimes in life, you are forced to make a choice and neither of your options makes you want to get up and do the happy dance.

That was the premise on one of the anticipatory journal prompts my students responded to before they began The Crucible. The prompt was getting them prepared to wrap their minds around the concept of “guilty until proven innocent.”

You have been accused of cheating on an important test when you did not. You can either admit to cheating, even though you didn’t, with the consequences being that you will serve after school detention and the incident will be put down in your permanent school record. But, you will also be allowed to retake the test.

Or, if you refuse to admit to cheating, you will still have to serve detention. However, your school record will be kept clean with no incident of cheating recorded. The down side, you will not be allowed to retake the test.

Under these conditions, which choice would you make and why?

I had not expected the students’ responses to this question to be such a tool for categorizing them, which, try as hard as I might not to do, was difficult.

Students who would admit to cheating even if they did not so that they could retake the test. Overwhelmingly, the students who responded this way were students that I might suspect would have no trouble with cheating in the first place. But. I was surprised (and yes, try as I might not to be judgmental, disappointed) that some of my best students academically would take this route just to retake the test. No problem caving their integrity? Or…not yet able to think of the subtle consequence of their permanent record being scared?

Students who would take the zero on the test rather than admit to something they did not do. These were the most satisfying responses to read. Again and again I had the honor and pleasure of glimpsing a young person whose principles were rock solid at such a young age. Who claimed that their integrity was not for sale at such a price. There were some type “A” kids who justified this choice because of the possibility that down the road it could affect their college applications. I just wished while I read them they had also mentioned their own personal principles.

You might think that was it. What else could there be? Maybe you will be as surprised as me that there are two more lumps or clumps that came out of this little assignment that turned out to be a social experiment of sorts.

A handful of students fall into the category of not reading directions or writing prompts very well in an effort to fly through any and all assignments. These students said they would admit to cheating so they could retake the test and it is better to just go ahead and admit to something when you know you are guilty. ??? or WTF?

Then there is a fairly large clump of students who cannot wrap their minds around the idea of having to choose between two courses of action which don’t fit their fancy. These students invented their own third choice, which usually called for bringing their parents down to the school to yell at the imbecile of a teacher who would accuse them of something they did not do.

Seriously.

Then there was the rare breed. The kid whose honesty and introspection made me think twice about my own ability to answer that journal question. That kid who comes along maybe once in a career. This is the same kid I quoted in this post with two stanzas of a poem he wrote back in the first quarter where the subject matter was his using sleep as a way to get through the angst of middle school:

What wonders it brings

to shut my eyes closed

and put down all the walls,

and weapons and soldiers

that keep me safe from

the biting and gnashing of bitter teeth

and bothersome, mindless chatter of the world.

Please leave me for awhile

And I will reach you across the wide oceans of my mind

Through the colossal mountains of thought

Beneath the clouded sky of reflection

And speak with you

In the green fields of sleep.

In the first quarter he also wrote a personal narrative (topic= self identity) that actually made me weep every time I read it. The entire piece was an extended metaphor where his life was a mural and he was the artist. It was one of the most beautiful pieces of writing I’ve ever read.

But he is an artist and not motivated too much by grades. Translation: he doesn’t do all his work. I have heard this from his math and science teacher. He does most of my work as he loves writing and he loves literature. He DID NOT do this journal assignment. So I pulled him aside and asked him why not.

Well, Ms Pseudo, I really tried. I started it twice. But I realized I could not answer it honestly. I’d like to think I would take the zero and keep my integrity. But writing that down just seems so pompous and without the humility that such a choice would suggest. And really? How do I know that I wouldn’t just go ahead and say I did something I did not do unless I actually had to make the choice? Whichever way I started my response, I felt like I was being dishonest.

Suddenly I realized that I felt the same way about the entire assignment, but had not let myself get there in my thinking…

I’m really going to miss this kid next year.

Hi! I’m Chuckie. Wanna Play??!!

The Setting:

Last three weeks of school. Students have finished reading the The Crucible and are working in groups to produce a skit for the class.

It is Day Two and the task sheet requires the group members to decide on interpretation, costumes, props, and set layout.

Ms. Psuedo is sitting at her desk, going through the task sheets from the previous class while listening in on the tables and their conversations.

The Action

Table Three erupts into a cacophony of chaos. Athletic male student pushes his chair back, stands up, and firmly makes his unequivocal statement.

I’m not bringing no Chuckie doll to class. NO WAY!!

He shivers.

Female surfer/lifeguard student is grinning ear to ear.

I said I’d bring him. A Chuckie doll for the poppet. It’s an awesome idea.

NO WAY!!! No one is bringing a Chuckie doll.

Assistant teacher goes to the table and asks if she can be of assistance. Do the students need help working things out?

Freaked out, bigger than a house, male student blathers on about butcher knife wielding creepy dolls blah blah blah.

Meanwhile female student catches Ms. Pseudo’s eye and sees the twinkle. Oops Ms. Pseudo.

Male student huffs and puffs and starts to settle back into seat.

Female surfer/lifeguard student eyes Ms. Pseudo and the rest of the kids at the table. She waits until he is seated. Then she turns to the boy with a creepy shit eating grin and shrills,

HI!! I’m Chuckie!! Wanna play??!!

I love my job.

Last Minute WonderNots

4.5 weeks ago

Spent four hours of a weekend prepping a research project for my students.

Which included:

• 
  Guidelines for each part of the project
• 
  Timeline
• 
  Rubrics

4 weeks ago

Classes spent the week in the library, where they had three class periods to gather their research notes and sources.

Walked around and helped The Lost Ones.

3 weeks ago

Went over guidelines, timeline, and rubrics in class.

Asked the students if they had questions.

Gave them class time to work on writing up research.

2 weeks ago

Put students in groups.

Students had to:

Consolidate research, then go through and select research for group project.

Write a teacher lesson plan that included:

• 
  a way to present research that used teaching methods they wished teachers used more often.
• 
  a fun activity for students to use the information.

Consolidate research into one of three final products:

• 
  A brochure
• 
  An annotated bibliography
• 
  A traditional research paper

1.5 weeks ago

Announced after school tutorials would be everyday for students/groups that needed help.

1 week ago:

Students were given 50 minutes of three class periods to work on project.

Friday, March 13th

Group research report (brochure, annotated bib or research paper) due by 3 PM

School ends at 1:45 PM

Out of 150 students, 16 last minute wondernots show up after school and ask

Is something due today?

Can you explain it?

Can you help us?

Do they really think I am going to say,

Sure, I can help you pull a four week project out of your ass in one hour.

Since it is not PC to reply that or,

I think I should give you an “F” just for being stupid enough to ask me that.

I just go in my office and catch up on paperwork for an hour.

The fun part comes at 3 PM, when I go out to clear the inboxes and the 15 or so students working frantically on the computers create a cacophony of ear splitting cries.

You can’t buy this kind of fun. But you can watch it...

Friday Foto: Remembering "The Book Lady"

Asa Yamashita

Asa was a dedicated teacher with a passion for inspiring others.

If you live in Hawaii, this article has avenues of giving to honor her life and her memory.

If you don’t live in Hawaii, but are moved by her story, you can honor her memory by reading to a child or donating a book to a school or library.

As her brother-in-law is quoted in the news article from her eulogy,

He asked the mourners to honor Asa's memory and "pick up a book and read. ... Read to learn something, read to enjoy. ... Just maybe you're reading for a better world."

For more Friday Fotos, head on over to Candid Carrie's.

Conversation with my daughter last night…

Me (trying to catch up on blog reading).

Daughter comes into the office.

Mom, one of your former students is in my Woman’s Studies class.

Mmm. That’s nice. (Meanwhile I was reading this post of Motherhood in NYC. It you don’t read Marinka you should check her out. She is so, so funny. Great last blog to read before retiring if you need an uplift).

It’s weird running into your old students. Actually, this one is weird.

Yeah, well, at 150 students a year, over the course of many years, there’s bound to be all types.

No, this one is really weird. Kind of irritating.

I’m still only half listening. Daughter continues.

So, I’m sitting with my friend Brian, a few minutes before class starts, and this guy in front of us turns around and says, “Are you Ms Pseudo’s daughter?” And I say, ahh yeah. My friend Brian was in the middle of telling me a story, so we both just sit there awkwardly and your student keeps going.

Your mom was my teacher.

That’s nice.

I was in her class my senior year.

Ah, that’s nice.

She had cancer that year.

Mom, I swear to God, Brian had to cover his mouth and put his head down to keep from laughing. What am I supposed to say to that, “uh, yeah, I think I remember the year my mom had cancer??”

He probably just wanted to know if I was doing alright.

Yeah, well, maybe. But the next thing he says was “Did your mom’s hair grow back? She was bald when she was my teacher.” Brian’s head is down on the desk and his shoulders are shaking he is laughing so hard.

OK. I turn from the glare of the computer monitor. She has my attention and my mirth as well at this point.

Well did you laugh? Cause it is kind of funny when you put it like that.

She IS laughing, finally. Although, I'm pretty sure it is the first time she has laughed at this story.

I might be laughing right now while I’m telling you this. It is funny when I think about it. But I was actually kind of pissed off. I gritted my teeth and told him your hair had grown back and you were doing fine.

Is that it sweetie? Can I go back to reading?

MOM! Brian and I have switched where we sit. But your student keeps following us around and sitting right in front of us!