Monday, January 12, 2009

Billions for Boners

Hustler publisher Larry Flynt and Girls Gone Wild CEO Joe Francis said Wednesday they will request that Congress allocate $5 billion for a bailout of the adult entertainment industry.

Now, I don’t know much about the adult entertainment industry. Admittedly, I‘ve never bought a Hustler magazine or watched a Girl’s Gone Wild video. So I would not go so far as to presume their motivation for this stunt. I know they are not serious. I assume they are mocking Secretary Paulson and the fact that the first bailout billions were handed over to the same people who let their companies go belly up while they themselves became multimillionaires.

With these types of results

Here’s a quote from Flynt:

With all this economic misery and people losing all that money, sex is the farthest thing from their mind. It's time for congress to rejuvenate the sexual appetite of America. The only way they can do this is by supporting the adult industry and doing it quickly.

Although I got a perverse laugh out of the article, I’d have to disagree with these adult experts. When one is broke, sex is one of the free options available. Not enough money to see a movie? Go out to lunch? No gas money to take a drive? Well, sweetie, looks like a good day to hang out at home together.

27 comments:

Jan said...

I plain busted out laughing when I read this. You see, I AM familiar with Hustler magazine as my ex was very likely their Number One Customer.

I agree - knowing what I know about Mr. Flynt, I doubt he's serious. But he certainly knows how to make a point, doesn't he?

McEwens said...

I am with you, I HOPE they are just playing the system, cause NO way no how!

Twenty Four At Heart said...

And it wouldn't surprise me in the least if they start having congressional meetings debating the merits of this next week!

I'm sorry you're homesick lately! I thought about you on the drive up to SB. We have Santa Anas here right now. It makes for a long night in my canyon. However, it makes for warm, crystal clear, spectacular weather in SB .......

Sigh! Wish I could have stayed longer!

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

Oh Jan - you could write a memoir on that first marriage, beat the crap out of it with humor. And yes, he does make a point.

pam - if Congress responds to this they need to get a pay slash.

24 - I proably love the Santa Anas from the years we lived on the beach. Your weekend up in SB looks so beautiful.

Irish Gumbo said...

To him I say: Dude, when's the last time you went to a strip club or bought a GOOD porno DVD? At those prices, a bailout ain't going to help. What you need is an industry wide "Gettin' Down to Bidness!" sale, now that would 'stimulate' the ol' economy, uknowhutimsane?!!

Not that I know anything about strip clubs or 'those' DVD's. People talk, you hear things. Plus, I'm a gentleman, all classy and stuff...;)

Debbie said...

I love this so much! Larry Flynt and the politicians. I really don't see a lot of difference in the two.

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

Irish - yes you are a gentleman... and a funny one at that.

deb - great point.

WR= manlisms, seriously the word veri is creepily on target sometimes.

Lynn - the piggy bank painter said...

that's it. I'm asking for a bail out too. people ARE buying my piggy banks to put their hard earned cash in, but I may not be able to sell them because the government thinks kids lick them and will get lead poisoning from paints that don't contain lead. If larry can ask for money, I can too.

hehe, sorry for the rant ; )

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

Hi Lynn - I signed the petition. Hey everyone, go to Lynn's and follow the link to help her fight unnecceary restrictions on her small business.

Kristan said...

LOL to your last paragraph!

Yeah, somehow I think the adult entertainment industry is nice and healthy right now. I like the subversive nature of their petition, though. Because seriously, Congress...

Mama Dawg said...

Provided protection is used. Otherwise, their economic hardships will get significantly worse in about 9 months.

mo.stoneskin said...

For what it's worth, that was a great line from Flynt. Go Flynt!

The Blonde Duck said...

That's crazy. Only in America, right?

Just B said...

I love satire/social commentary like that! (hopefully that is what it is)

Okay, while I'm here I have a dumb-sort-of-blond confession to make: I have been mystified by your "word veri" references. Simultaneously I am delighted by the various word verifications I am forced to endure in the blog world. Today, in an earlier comment, I FINALLY got what all your word veri references were referencing. I am so pathetic. But we still are sharing the same brain (except your half is smarter) by being fascinated by these odd little non-word words.

word veri = symacko Love it!!

Melissa B. said...

I can just see the Michael Moore documentary now. But they need to get Hugh Hefner in on it, too. Did you hear this octagenarian is dating 19-year-old twins? That should do wonders for the economy!

only a movie said...

That's crazy. Crazy, I tell you. Wicked funny too.

Dave said...

I peed my pants when I read the title of your brilliant post and the first few lines.
Shit!
Too much, but man did I do a big wet laugh when I started to digest the whole nonsense.

Janie said...

Free sex is relative.

Didn't all us baby boomers ultimately come out of free sex during the depression? A generation away, but if we look back at our roots, well, the depression is there.

Just a perverted thought.

thistle said...

Trust those two guys to mock the US government...and perhaps now might be a time to start a research project that tracks birthrates in the western world, based on your hypothesis one mught expect a spike...perhaps you could get government funding or the project ;)

Vodka Mom said...

OMG! That was hysterical. Your post title made me laugh as much as your damn post.

Vodka Mom said...

now, should we talk about what happens when your husband is so depressed about now having a job that he can't get "motivated"???

let's chat about THAT, shall we???

Sunny said...

agree to your point!

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

I'm back to work now, so all my good intentions of interacting in my own comment thread went out the window.

deconstructing jen said...

After I got done laughing I was appalled. I mean seriously? Failing banks or failing porn industry?? Hmm, which can I live without? Banks for sure. ;)

Casey said...

Very good point with the "sex is free" and all. I can't believe Flynt is actually asking for bailout money. It sounds like a joke.

Yaya said...

This whole issue is seriously pathetic! Such a disgrace!

Robin said...

If there is a prize for best headline of the week, you are the winner.