Thursday, March 26, 2009

Spin Cycle: Quirks

After much reflection and the polling of family members, it appears I don’t have any major quirks, or at least interesting ones. It seems my quirks have been worn smooth from the constant compromising involved in working towards a greater good (moments of peace).

I asked my husband.

You get mad when the bed’s not made….

Hoping the last person out of bed makes it, so that I don’t get home at four in the afternoon to a rumplestilskin is a quirk. OK.

I asked my daughter.

It really bugs you when we don’t call when we’re supposed to or are coming home late.

Hm. If that’s a quirk then I’m heading for high ground.

I asked my son.

You don’t know how to tell when I’m joking. You get really pissed off when I call girls, especially Sister, bitches or ho’s.

Yeah. I’m mother of the year quirk.

When I asked my family for this information, I had to do a little explaining of the term quirk. So, they also offered these tidbits.

Husband always does his chores in the same way every time. When he drives someplace, once he decides on the route, he goes the same way, every time. When one of the children does a chore differently than he would do it, it drives him crazy.

My daughter and son both count things. All kinds of things. Like the number of steps to and from places in the house. They revealed more, but I was too busy wondering about my pack of crazies to take it in.

It all became clear as I was vacuuming on Monday. My husband was watching me. He informs me:

When I vacuum, I start upstairs. I do each room in rows so the lines are all straight. Then, when I do the stairs, I hold the vacuum so it does not mark where I’ve been. Once I get to the downstairs I start in the living room and work my way towards the utility room. He then gives me the exact order of each room downstairs.

So I ask.

Why are you telling me this?

Because it bugs me the way you are doing it. If you are going to vacuum (I will admit, he does it more often than me), you should do it the right way.

I look him straight in the eye.

When I vacuum, I like to mix it up. I do the rooms in a different order every time , otherwise I get bored. I try to hit the living room when a song on the CD player is a favorite, so I can take a break and play sing along, using the vacuum as my fake microphone.

He rolled his eyes and walked away, thinking I was being sarcastic. It kills him to know I was dead serious.

And I did not even take on my mother’s quirks in this post. But I will mention that when I cleaned out her place on my last visit, I recycled over 60 phone books that dated back into the 80’s…

39 comments:

mo.stoneskin said...

That made me grin like a chimp. Especially the hoovering. I'm like your husband in that...but my wife doesn't let me hoover 'cos I get so ratty about the cables being not long enough for my perfect system etc...

Jan said...

Oh, that I should have such "uninteresting" quirks.

60 phone books? I may be related to you, dear. Or at least your mother.

Ann's Rants said...

Thanks for your comments on the Perfectionism posts today. This relates well. Yeah for vacuuming between the lines!

only a movie said...

How fun was that post?

My Other Half has a bunch of cute quirks. They are much cuter than mine. I'm just flat out annoying.

Your husband's vacuuming style cracks me up.

Twenty Four At Heart said...

Could I talk your husband into coming to vacuum my house? Because it has NEVER been done in such an orderly fashion. I'm like you - I try to time what room I'm in to the music.

smiles4u said...

Oh dear. When I vacuum, I am not stuck on any certain pattern, just that it be done "right" and more detailed....meaning making sure everything has been vacuumed up which means moving anything that's in the way. When my husband vacuums, he goes so fast and doesn't move anything, that although most everything is vacuumed, there is still stuff here and there on the floor. This drives me mad! I end up going back over it, if I have enough time.

I love cleaning to music too...and just so you know, I pretend that the vacuum or broom is my microphone too!

The Rambler said...

Great post!!

Do we have the same husband? Wait that would be polygamy!

That one fact that I don't do things the same way BUGS the living crap out of him.

But here's the hypocrite in him...he doesn't ALWAYS do the same thing again and again.

Oh, don't worry. I call it out on him :)

Like any witty wife would!

D'Arcy said...

I have OCD that I've been trying to keep under control for years. You think you live with a pack of crazies, then my sister should be given a gold medal for living with me. I have a certain way everything on my dressers should look like and I can tell when something has been moved. I like things cleaned and lined up and alphabetical (ie my extensive DVD collection)

Yeah, quirks, I've got them in loads. I was going to say more but it would get disturbing.

Brenda Jean said...

Oh man, we have the same husband-- how can that be? Were they separated at birth? Ask yours about the volume on the television. Does he have to have it on an even number? I just found this out last year I think, and we've been married 20 years. My kids all have a teeny bit of OCD as does my husband, but get this-- they are all slobs. Why couldn't they get the neatness part of OCD?

Beth said...

I could be your husband. In drag, of course. My husband swears I have selective OCD. I'm only OCD about the things I want to be OCD about.

Sprite's Keeper said...

Like your son and daughter, I am a former counter myself. When I vacuum, I need to work from farthest from the door to the door itself and leave no footprints behind! Then I freak out when the kid tramples all over my vacuum tracks!
Great Spin! You're linked!

Casey said...

Vacuum lines are nice but I like to mix it up a bit too. Who am I kidding, I rarely vacuum, that's a man's work. I'm kidding, of course.

Good for you for not being quirky like the rest of us. At least there's one normal person out there.

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

I'm pretty sure I'm not normal, more like a big doormat. I don't have enough fight in me to push about my way on most things. I have heard a rumor that when I do dig my heels in, I can be pretty stubborn. Just choosey in my battles.

Joanie M said...

Well, it seems that you have way more fun vacuuming than your husband does, but if he likes it done a certain way, then more power to him! I say hand over the vacuum cleaner!

Fragrant Liar said...

I've always wanted to vacuum naked. I know I have done this once a very long time ago, but I had four kids under five, and I was crazy. They were asleep, so I wasn't that crazy. But now I wonder what it would be like to vacuum naked again. I am sure my family would call that a quirk if I did it now.

And you got me thinking, so I am going to ask my family now, what are my particular quirks. I am pretty sure they will say like yours that I really don't have any. But I'm not going to put money on it...

shaunna said...

quirk
noun
a peculiar behavioral habit

and mom only got one mild paragraph? i'm amazed at your restraint.

Heather said...

YO....I like to mix up the vacuuming too....it's a boring chore!!!

Just B said...

Loved this--you started my day off with a smile.

It's possible that your man and my man were separated a birth. All chores the same. everytime. period.

The dishwasher is his biggest "quirk." He reloads it, umm, correctly. Dude, if that's how you want to spend your time, be my guest.

Kylie w Warszawie said...

I'm like your husband. I don't like for people to do household chores differently than I do. But I'm trying to let go of that, so that other people will do chores.

I also cannot stand it when my 6 year old makes his own lunch and uses an entire jar of peanut butter. But he does know how to make his own lunch.

nothingfancy1 said...

Great post! Love the using the vacuum cleaner as a microphone!!!!! A classic!

Jack said...

Oh I have some quirks... lots and lots of them!

I do that too, use the vacuum cleaner hose or broom as a mic. when I'm cleaning... so much fun!

Kristan said...

LOL about your husband's vacuuming routine and your mom's phone books.

Man, I can't think of our quirks, but I know we have them... Ugh, I'll come back when I'm not on the spot.

Jess said...

LMAO! Ohhh the vaccum thing is cracking me UP! I like to do things my way too...but I had an ex that would vaccum so the lines did this certain thing. We were watching home shopping network or something one night and they were selling a vacuum and the guy made a remark, "Look at those beautiful grooming lines" I was in shock that "the lines" had a name. The ex was delighted that what he did was something people look for when vaccuming. Still makes me giggle to this day!

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

I remember one time years ago complaining to a friend that when the children folded clothes tha they didn't do it "right" and, accordingly, drawers did not line up the way I like. Which was most efficient. She sad I either needed to get over that and live with things not being done the way I like, or else end up doing all chores, forever, so that they were done correctly.

I picked letting go. Kids do chores.

Tricia said...

I think your husband and I would get along fabulously.

Jenni said...

you should definately let your husband do the vacuuming. all the time.

Debbie said...

The thought of all of those phone books makes me nervous. Seriously. That is the kind of thing I cannot do.

Heidi said...

Oh mah Goodness! If I don't vacuum a certain way, I start all over again.

Praises be, I'm normal! (Kinda.)

Laufa said...

I don't like the way my hubby folds shirts - he won't put the right side out - and I don't like the way he vacuums either, I try to make sure I reach everything in a steady pace. He just wants to get the vacuuming done. Great spin!

Anna Lefler said...

Hey, vacuuming style is very personal! It's one step away from piercings in my book.

I feel you, PHST.

XO

Anna

only a movie said...

I just checked in with the other half on this and I had to come back to let you know: He has to vacuum and clean his house exactly the same way every time. If someone else does it differently, he has to do it over.
I'm fairly certain I won't be doing any housework at all once we're all consolidated in one household again.
I can live with that.

Sammanthia said...

I used to do the same thing until we moved and now we have wood floors in every room so it doesn't matter which room I do first. So I've had the best of both worlds- uniformly aligned vacuum tracks and the time spent pretending I was Britney Spears holding a hose for a microphone. I'm so blessed.

kari and kijsa said...

Too funny- Think our families could start an entire blog on our quirks!!
blessings,
kari & kijsa

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

An overwhelming consensus to let the quirky one take over the chore. I'm OK with that.

East Coast Wahine said...

My husband doesn't care how, where or when I vacuum, so long as he doesn't have to do it! *L*

Petra a.k.a The Wise (*Young*) Mommy said...

Man, I wish I was as normal as you. I didn't take on the quirk spin because it would be like 20 pages long and no one would read it, or they would, and truly know how crazy I am...

Cristin said...

The vacuuming bit was hilarious! Hubby once criticized my vacuuming technique and almost ended up with the floor attachment up his ass...

Sandi said...

You are hilarious! So is your family... I love their version of "Quirks" They must think you are as Quirky as all get out.

Smart Mouth Broad said...

Good stuff. I love the interaction between you and the husband. I really wanted to do this spin but ran out of time before it was too late. I have so many quirks to tell, I may just have to do it anyway.