Me: Oh crap. I forgot my I-shuffle for my walk. Ah. Well. I’ll just enjoy the silence.
Five minutes later.
Me: Did I forget to lock something? Turn off the stove? Are my kids alright?? Why did I suddenly get this gut wrenching nerve fest and adrenaline rush?
Anxiety: Hey you stupid bitch! I’m the wrench in your gut and don’t you forget it.
Intuition (softly): I’m the feeling at the center of your being. Your inner voice. Don’t confuse me with Anxiety. He’s just messing with you. Don’t listen to him.
Me: Excuse me? How can I tell the difference?
Intuition: Oh. You just KNOW. Listen to me, your inner voice. Take a deep breath, exhale, and blow Anxiety right out of there.
Me: Sometimes I am not so sure if I can tell the difference. What if dismiss malaise as Anxiety and it turns out it was my Intuition?
Anxiety: HA!! Hahahahahaha. Good luck with that. I kind of like it here. You are both pretty fucking amusing.