Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Serial Killer Priests and Overweight Bags


First of all, that last post with the cute Brit snarking on Twilight....at the end of the post I quoted his fucking Lauren and her blond hair. I realized later while I watched his YouTube videos for another round that the quote was from another clip, his reading of chapters 5 &6. Oops.

Also, my daughter was all like, "mom, why did you ask your readers if they thought he was creepy?"

And I was all like, "I DID NOT." Then I realized the quote she was referring to. Creepy, as in direct address to a fellow blogger who is a Camp Edward versus my Camp Wolf Boy. Blogger's actually blog name is Tulpen, but I started calling her Creepy awhile ago and it stuck for me.

Apparently three posts written on the fly and set up to post at later dates does not bode well for me in terms of clarity.

* * * * *

At the airport headed to Sacramento and waiting in line for the semi-self check in (and only really checking in your bags as you printed a boarding pass the night before). The line is moving slower than shit because the couple whose turn it is has bags over the weight limit. They take stuff out, pack it into their carry on. Weigh the bag again. Then the other bag. Both bags more than once.

Me with bitchfest, impatient inner dialogue going on.

Karma bit my ass six days later as I checked my bag in at Sacramento airport. After a shopping trip to Trader Joe's (not in Hawaii) and another shopping trip to Folsom Outlet extravaganza mall.... Yeah. My bag weighed 57 pounds. Luckily a colleague was packing light and let me unload some stuff from my bag to hers. In the front of the line. With impatient travelers giving me the eye roll I so deserved.

* * * * *

Another airport story. As I was making my way to the front of the line in Honolulu, behind me I had a somewhat creepy priest. (sorry, but he was) He was about 6'5" and built big and on the pudgy soft side. Longish, graying hair. Full-out black robe ensemble. In 90 degree humidity.

He did NOT understand personal space. The hair on the back of my neck stood at attention.

He kept asking me stupid questions.

"Is this the line for Hawaiian Airlines." Uhhh, yeah. That's why the sign says Hawaiian Airlines.

"Why does it say U.S. Mainland?" Because we are traveling to the Mainland and not outer island.

"Am I in the right line if I already printed my boarding pass?" Yep. That's why the sign also says for people checking bags only.

When it is my turn I hoist my bag onto the scale and turn around to check in on the computer screen and priest man is there slipping his card in and fussing with the screen.

"I think I need to check in while my bag is on the scale to get my luggage tags..."

"Oh. Oh. Sorry. I didn't realize."

The whole thing really weirded me out. My paranoid mind had him as a serial killer with some kind of card that he slipped in ahead of mine so he could come in after me and read all my info off my card. It freaked me out to the point that after I checked in I ran a bogus card through the slot to throw him off.

I'm thinking that perhaps watching marathons of Criminal Minds on Fridays this summer may not have been a great use of my time.

* * * * *

For more Random Fun, head on over to The Unmom's.

Stay tuned for Traveling Thursday and my first ever face to face meeting with another blogger!

22 comments:

ds said...

I would have been creeped out by that "priest" too.

Brian Miller said...

lol. now you are giving me story ideas...creepy priests on planes...smiles.

lisleman said...

what a strange idea that he had some special card that could read your card after you were done. You are talking about credit cards - right? Of course there are devices (skimmers?) that can read a card and save the info. But those are either portable or fitted onto an ATM machine reader. Don't ever use an ATM that has a funny looking reader. But I don't understand your idea.
Besides if he was a priest he could just get all the info on you from God.

only a movie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
only a movie said...

Crap. Sorry about that. Bad commenting form.

Looking forward to traveling Thursday - I may link up again!

Glad you're back home.

Sprite's Keeper said...

Creepy priest, huh? Still doesn't beat the creepy Rabbi on Dateline NBC To Catch a Predator. They ALWAYS show that episode!

secret agent woman said...

I thought that fucking Lauren with her blond hair referred to the blond girl at the end of the video. I wondered why you disliked her so much.

Priests don't bother me - I think I've known too many nice ones.

Kristan said...

Haha, sorry, the priest anecdote amused me. Definitely creepy, but probably not a serial killer. (Still, better safe than sorry.)

gretchen said...

The creepy priest/Criminal Minds thing is much like what happens to me when I watch a House marathon. Suddenly, everything is a symptom of some dark and mysterious illness. Best to avoid such things.

And if you need stuff from Trader Joe's let me know, I'm there twice a week, and I could easily ship to you.

Michele said...

Awww...travel tales. My favorite is the 60s couple who rarely if ever fly who take about 8 hours to get through security. Because she's wearing a ton of jewelry and he's got a shoes that lace to his knobby knees.

Mrsbear said...

The priest does sound creepy although I never would've pegged him for having such sophisticated tactics in order to gather all your private info. But looks can be deceiving...and paranoia contagious. ;)

Anna See said...

ick. at least the new scanners can see what he has under his voluminous robe.

Anna See said...

ick. at least the new scanners can see what he has under his voluminous robe.

Joanie M said...

Real priests don't usually travel in their cassocks. They either wear civilian clothes or a suit jacket and a Roman collar. That dude was weird!!!

Joanie M said...

Jen, that creepy rabbi was from the Philly/ NJ area! Didn't he kill his wife?

Captain Dumbass said...

Creepy priest was obviously a serial killer. And Supreme Leader enjoyed your Twilight video. She's been lurking on your site.

starrlife said...

he does sound creepy and I don't mean Tulpen :) Sounds like a great haul that you scored there!

TechnoBabe said...

That's a big bugaboo of mine; no matter what line I am in, I do not want the person behind me breathing on my head or in my space. I have had to turn around and tell people to back off. In particular in the grocery store. You were pretty nice it seems to me.

Mama Badger said...

Ugh, I hate people who stand too close. Isn't it too close for them, too? Then again, he's a priest. Maybe this is as close as he gets to anyone, so he has to take advantage when he can...

otin said...

Your priest made me think of that guy in the end of the movie "12 Monkeys" who was boarding the plane with the suitcase containing viruses!

blueviolet said...

I don't care what kind of cloth he's wearing. If he's in my space, he's a psycho.

tulpen said...

Hehehehe... I answer to many names, Creepy being one of them. This totally cracked me up.

I'd say you're on the wrong team, but now I just think I wanna be on that adorable Brit's team...I could watch/listen to him all day.