Sunday, October 31, 2010

More Perfuckity

If blogging was a regular job, I'd have been fired months ago.

But I keep the blog going; it represents my hopes for getting back to me time.

New home, new job, staying on top of things so unbloggableness doesn't rear its ugly head. Yeah, it keeps me busy.

Lately, the problems of caring for our elderly mother have resurfaced. Those of you here last summer might remember. Those of you who helped me with phone calls and emails are forever in my grateful prayers.

Nutshell:

Despite mom's outbursts, manipulations, and craziness; we got her into the assisted living place she wanted. I should not say we as I take no credit. My nephew and niece in California physically moved her days (minutes) before she would have been evicted.

My nephew paid for her first three months (her long term health care does not kick in until after three months).

Mom's doctor had the paperwork for her insurance application. Mom needed help with her meds, big time. She needed help bathing and dressing as she had fallen three times - breaking her arm twice and splitting open her head once. She needed help with her finances and paperwork as she was declared "mildly" incompetent. Mildly my ass.

Once in, you would think she would be grateful and relax.

But no.

She fought my sister (who took the responsibility of POA). Mom would not let my sister do anything. POA doesn't override my mom, just makes sis partners. Mom's doctor didn't think mom was crazy and incompetent enough to sign off on a conservatorship.

Doc did, however, change mom's insurance application at mom's request. She took off the check marks for bathing, dressing, and meds help. Just left the mildly incompetent. This was to save mom money as each need adds more to the bill.

Doc did not bother to notice mom's insurance won't cover her for only one check mark.

The assisted living home let it slide (they were getting paid).

Now, mom's insurance got denied and suddenly they are calling my sister and nephew more often than the stupid political campaigns.

Ever had one of those years where EVERYTHING was difficult. A challenge.

So. NOW they (and mom) want our help.

I'm posting the letter I wrote to the doctor tomorrow. Any of you ever get in a similar position, feel free to take it and revise it for your own.

18 comments:

Brian Miller said...

oh man...sorry. ack.

Nubian said...

Let me know where you would like the case of wine mailed to.

Lori said...

I am sorry things are tough with your mom. ((((Hugs)))) I was going to say something about sending wine but looks like someone beat me to it. XX

Kathy said...

Stupid doctor. Stupid insurance. It's too bad you can't make the doctor pay for his stupidity. grrrrrrrrrrrr

Find a happy place, and chill for a while.. you deserve it. And wine.

Joanie M said...

Sorry about all this mess. How perhaps the doctor will see the mistake he made with the diagnosis.

Kristan said...

Can't wait to read the letter...

Sucks about all this red tape hassle, but I'm glad the big step has been taken and your mom is in assisted living.

only a movie said...

Ack... Wish I could help you with this stress...looking forward to the letter.

Michele said...

I am so sorry to hear that you are still having problems with this issue. I thought it had all been taken care of. The doctor should be held accountable but I know that won't happen. I hope it gets worked out soon. It is bad enough that your mom is fight everyone on this but to have the doctor not on-board is terrible.

Anna See said...

Dear lord, this sounds miserable!!!!

Joanna Jenkins said...

Holy @#$%^ I am so sorry. I was praying things were improving for your mom.

Hang in there. jj

blueviolet said...

I can't even imagine how difficult this has been. I'm so sorry. I hope she'll settle in soon and stop being so obstinate.

Gaston Studio said...

So sorry to hear of this Pseudo; am sending prayers and lots of hugs. This is a perfect example of how much in trouble our health system really is. Can't wait to see the letter.

Fragrant Liar said...

Perfuckity indeed. I'm sorry Pseudo. I hate to see this kind of thing, especially when you're so far away from the situation to do much about it yourself. I hope it gets better soon, and you're not so stressed out.

Hugs.

Mom Taxi Julie said...

How stressful :/ The older I get the more I worry about things like that too. Being the only daughter on both sides (divorced parents) I'm sure all the crap will be on my shoulders when the time comes.

Melissa B. said...

Oh gosh, Pseudo. I'm so sorry. As you may remember, your situation is de ja vu for yours truly. It probably won't get any better, so try real hard to hold on to your wonderful memories, before Mom's crazy spell set in...

Mama Badger said...

Did you send it with a bag of poo? You'd think a doctor would convince her that he wanted to put it into the paperwork and get her qualified, even if she didn't "need" it. You'd think he'd realize that if she's hurting herself that she needed the help. Who the heck is this dr???

tulpen said...

Sorry I missed this. What a huge pile of suck.

Midlife Jobhunter said...

I add my sorrows. Seems a rough ride for you. Keep at the blogging, though, even if only once in a while. My philosophy for myself right now.