A thin line...

I love my job. Well, most of the time.

But conversations like this, they make me smile.

Petunia: Miss. You like my nails?

Me: They are black.

Petunia: Yes they are. Do you like their shape?

Me: They are long and pointy. Very interesting Petunia.

Petunia: I always had them done square shaped and wanted something different. I really like these. They're fun.

Me: They almost look like little weapons. Did you get them done at _________?

Petunia: No. Some other place. But I'm not going back. I don't like the people that work there.

Me: Why? I thought you asked for your nails to be black and long and pointed like daggers.

Petunia: It's not that. The guy who did my nails is racist.

Me: ??? How do you know he's a racist?

Petunia: He said he hates gays.

Me: That's a little different than racist. Why do you think he hates gays?

Petunia: The TV was on and they had the story of Ricky Martin coming out that he was gay. And the guy says to me, "Gay men aren't real men." You know what I said to him Miss?

Me: What did you say Petunia?

Petunia: I said to him, "yeah, says the man doing my nails."

You can still enter the contest until Thursday afternoon...

Winners, Whiners, and Wisecracks

Yesterday my students were turning in a big project. While I called the tables up one at a time (can you tell I have been to a lot of wedding banquets) the other students were enjoying sharing their hard work at their tables with their peers. Although they had a new assignment they could have gotten started on...

I told them I did not mind their sharing instead of working, but to please keep the noise down.

I have one student who is just a very loud girl. A nice girl. A fun girl with a load pf personality. But VERY LOUD.

"Hey Gertrude," I yelled out towards her table, "bring it down a couple of notches."

"What Ms??? Why do you always pick on ME? Everyone is talking..."

"Yes. But I can only hear you and you are so loud I cannot hear myself think."

"Hoooo Mssssss. That's harsh. I think you hurt my feelings."

Her friend Stephanie smiled softly and poked her, whispered something I could not hear that made Gertrude whine even louder.

"Nooooooooooooot!"

* * *

Gertrude's table is called up to turn in their projects. Two of them sign in their projects and I am left with Gertrude on my left and Stephanie on my right. Gertrude wants to show me some of the details of her work, but she is talking so loud that my left ear is ringing a tune that sings something like, MIGRAINE, MIGRAINE, WHERE OH WHERE ARE YOU MIGRAINE!!!

"Gertrude, seriously, can you please tone it down? My left ear is ringing and it's making my head totally out of balance."

I don't see it coming.

Quiet, sweet Stephanie has leaned in towards my right ear. And shouts to the heavens,

"DOES THIS HELP MISS!!! Are you evened up now!"

The look of shock on my face made their day, especially, I do believe, Stephanie. I've got a new eye peeled on that girl.

* * *

One of the best things about birthdays in middle age is the cards you get...

I love my sister Shaunna. Ever noticed I don't put up photos of myself? Shaunna has one up of us for my birthday post. Want to go check us out?

Hehehe. Like I look anything like that at 52.

* * *

The first winner is..... Erin from The Locals Love It

True Random Number Generator
Min:1
Max:
Result:86
47
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The second winner is...Brian Miller from Waystaytionone

True Random Number Generator
Min:1
Max:86
Result:
27
Powered by RANDOM.ORG

The third winner is...Debbie from Suburb Sanity

True Random Number Generator
Min: 1
Max: 86
Result:
86
Powered by RANDOM.ORG

Thank-you everyone who played along. I wish I could send you all a goodie box. You three winners, please email me a mailing address and I'll send out your packages next week.

My nanowrino is 11,584. I am taking this morning off to catch up on a little blogging, but I might not be around to visit too much this month.

For more Random Fun, head on over to The Unmom's.

Random Recess, Random Tuesday

Work is crazy busy. The students are in the middle of a writing project. Yesterday during recess I had no less than two students talking to me at the same time with three on deck the entire 15 minutes. It sounded something like this.

Joe: I only have half my paper printed for writer’s workshop today but I think I should get full credit because my printer stopped working in the middle of printing it out.

Me taking the paper and looking it over. Interesting how the ink looks perfect, and it stops right after a paragraph in the middle of a page. You’ll only get credit for how much you brought to class today for peer conferences.

Steve: I wrote my draft Miss.

Me: That’s great Steve.

Joe: But Miss, excuse me, but you don’t understand, it was like a technological flaw and not my fault. I think I should get full credit.

Me: Why didn’t you bring it on your jump drive and print it here? You always have a jump drive.

Steve: I printed it and brought it on time. Look!

Me: That is awesome Steve. I think this may be your first time on time. Hang onto it, today is for peer conferences. Bring it after school to tutorial if you want me to read it.

Kurt: Miss…

Joe: Miss Pseudo, maybe I didn’t explain it right, you see…

Me: Joe. The grade today is called “draft on time.” It’s not a big grade. But if I give you full credit for half a draft, every student with their draft half done will chime in and tell me they have printer issues.

Kurt: Miss Pseudo…

Darren and Chelsea walking in: MISS! Did we have homework? What’s due today?

Me: If you don’t know, too late already.

Joe: Miss, I really must not be explaining myself well or I think you would appreciate my situation here...

Kurt: Miss… PLEASE. I need a pass to the health room...

Me: What’s wrong with you?

Kurt: I feel like I’m going to barf, right now, like on everything.

I wrote him a health pass quickly. Kurt never has his homework on time and there is a good chance the barfing was a ruse, but who wants to take chances on something like that.

Plus, I think I could have gotten in trouble if I asked him to direct his spewage at Joe. Or Joe's half written paper.

For more randomness, head on over to Keely at the Unmom's

Women Stuff Randomness

I'm late to the party... but my time zone is working for me.

* * *

My students created “media literacy collages” as a part of a media literacy unit I taught. The collage was to represent their use of and influence by different forms of media. They were also supposed to differentiate what they considered positive from negative uses. Like…

Facebook is positive because I use it to socialize when I’m stuck at home… negative because sometimes I spend so much time on it I never do my homework.

So the kids are presenting their collages to the class. One female student, while presenting her collage, pointed out an airbrushed, better than real life hot chick.

I put this model on my poster because she is sexy. This influences me to be sexy.

She did not say if this was positive or negative in her POV. While I sat there waiting – hoping – she would go there and discuss this further, she moved on to another picture.

This is a picture of a bible. It represents the Christian channel. It influences me to be a Jesus Girl.

* * *

My friend Movie sent me a link to The Women’s Colony when I wrote about my Dream Life. Go check out The Women’s Colony. If you don’t come back I would not blame you. But try and come back.

* * *

October is breast cancer awareness month. I have been cancer free for three years and seven months. Click on the pink ribbon in the side bar. Every click helps.

I haven’t written anything in a long time about being a cancer survivor. I should. It is October. But lately I am more focused on being a survivor of raising a teenager… Except that the court is still out on that one. As in whether or not I will survive.

* * *

Go visit Vodka Mom and her cause. She is awesome. Her cause is awesome. Her contest is awesome. Go on now.

For more Randomness, head on over to all the linked fun at The Unmom’s.

Kindergartners, Just Ten Years Later: A Spin Cycle Rerun

The Spin Cycle this week is to repost your favorite post.

Now, my actual favorite post is Sometimes There are Worse Things Than Nipplage. But I have reposted it before, plus it ran on Mid-Life Bloggers. So I think a lot of you have read it. It's my favorite because I think it is probably one of my best written pieces. It is one of the few that went through a revision. I kept at it a couple of days and tweaked it to get it where I liked, other than writing and posting on the same day, which is what I usually do. Also, it reminds me not to take myself too seriously - a lesson taught to me during my breast cancer days.

The post I'm spinning is my favorite post about the fun of working with teenagers. Since I just got started with a new class of sophomores, I thought it apropos to repost something about teaching. This post was inspired by Vodka Mom, who always posts the cute things her kindergartners say in class. One day while reading her blog, I thought to myself, "To think my students were that cute and innocent only 10 years ago..."

And here we go...

The following is a cross section of the first five minutes of four different classes, plus walking onto campus. The names have been changed to protect the little darlings.

Walking onto campus 45 minutes before school starts. I come through the back stairwell and a male student has a female student plastered against the wall. I'm grateful that at least they have their clothes on, know what I mean?

Hey! Knock it off.

No separation, but dirty looks in my direction.

Seriously. You two need to get out of here.

No separation. Dirtier looks in my direction.

I have a digital camera in my purse and I’m not afraid to use it. Do I need to show your mothers a picture of what you are doing?

Girl looks freaked out (finally), but boy looks like he would gladly slice my throat.

Between first bell and tardy bell:(Jan) Do you know how much the health room charges for a pad? (Me) Sorry, no. But do you need a pass to the health room to go get one? (Jan) What if I don’t have enough money? (Me) I guess you have to work that out with the health room aid. (Sadie)Hi Miss. Are we going to work on our poems today? (Bill) Why do we have to write poems? It’s not my thing. (Bob)I’m going to put a shriek bat in my poem. Miss, do you know what a shriek bat is? Do you play blah blah video game? (James) Why would you put a shriek bat in your poem? You’re supposed to write a poem about yourself. (Bob) EXCUSE ME. Maybe some of us are using similes and metaphors like we are supposed to. (James) Oh, my bad, you are so like a shriek bat. (Tom) Your mother's like a shriek bat. (Lily) Miss, can you sign my permission form? I’m going to be a tour guide for the students who are visiting from Japan next week. (Marie, Tilly, Helen, Fred, Kent – all digging into their backpacks or binders) OH! Me too. Me too. My form too. (Darlene) Hi Miss. I just got back from our family reunion. Do you have my work from last week? (Me) Darlene, review the make-up policy and come to see me in tutoring after school. Class, the tardy bell will ring in about 30 seconds. You need to be seated at that time. (Donald) Can I get a drink of water? (Me) Do I ever give you permission to be late to my class? (Ronald) Can I use the bathroom? (Me) Do I ever give you permission to be late to my class? Class. That IS the tardy bell. You can use the ten minutes of SST to study for your quiz. (Susie, Bobbie, and Chad)What Quiz?? (Me) The one that has been posted on the board and on my website for the last week. I’d like to remind you all that if you don’t know what is going on in class, you shouldn’t announce it. (Sadie) Miss. Lynn is crying in the hall. (Me, outside in hall) Lynn – are you OK? (Lynn, balling her eyes out) Miss, can I go to the health room? (Me) Of course. But are you OK? Do I need to call for a security cart to drive you? (Lynn) No. Snuffle. My boyfriend broke up with me just now. I can’t go to class like this. I need to lie down.

For more spins, head on over to Sprite's Keeper. She links all the posts on Friday.

New feature in the sidebar. Click on the sunset to find a great post.

Also, I haven't begged in awhile, but I'm tied for first with Dooce for Lord's sake in the blogger's choice awards. If you didn't cast a vote and are so inclined, I have to admit, it would be awesome to win. You can click on the badge to get there.

Five Days Left with the Students...

Monday morning, final exams schedule. My period one 10th grade students are here in my class for the last time.

As the students finish their exam, their energy pulses like a flashing beacon from a space satellite.

Those of you who are finished with your exams, you may be excused to the reading pod. You can sign yearbooks, but no talking. There's still a few people taking tests.

A few minutes later a female student comes running out of the reading area, past me, through the room, and out the door with her hand covering her mouth. Her cheeks are puffed out like a chipmunk; she appears to be about to upchuck.

Curious, I walk over to the reading pod and look in. About six students are sitting on the floor in a circle. All of them looking like they have a case of the mumps. I see a bag of large marshmallows in the center.

What's going on?? You guys aren't even supposed to eat in the building. And why is Martha running out of the room like she's about to throw up?

Sorry miss. We were having a contest to see who could fit the most marshmallows in their mouths. Martha was winning, but then she started to choke.

Nice. Is it summer yet?

If You Had to Lump Them…

Would you rather get hit in the face or the stomach?

Break an arm or a leg?

Lose your sense of smell or taste?

Who would you make out with if you had to pick one of these two - or be put to death?

Sometimes in life, you are forced to make a choice and neither of your options makes you want to get up and do the happy dance.

That was the premise on one of the anticipatory journal prompts my students responded to before they began The Crucible. The prompt was getting them prepared to wrap their minds around the concept of “guilty until proven innocent.”

You have been accused of cheating on an important test when you did not. You can either admit to cheating, even though you didn’t, with the consequences being that you will serve after school detention and the incident will be put down in your permanent school record. But, you will also be allowed to retake the test.

Or, if you refuse to admit to cheating, you will still have to serve detention. However, your school record will be kept clean with no incident of cheating recorded. The down side, you will not be allowed to retake the test.

Under these conditions, which choice would you make and why?

I had not expected the students’ responses to this question to be such a tool for categorizing them, which, try as hard as I might not to do, was difficult.

Students who would admit to cheating even if they did not so that they could retake the test. Overwhelmingly, the students who responded this way were students that I might suspect would have no trouble with cheating in the first place. But. I was surprised (and yes, try as I might not to be judgmental, disappointed) that some of my best students academically would take this route just to retake the test. No problem caving their integrity? Or…not yet able to think of the subtle consequence of their permanent record being scared?

Students who would take the zero on the test rather than admit to something they did not do. These were the most satisfying responses to read. Again and again I had the honor and pleasure of glimpsing a young person whose principles were rock solid at such a young age. Who claimed that their integrity was not for sale at such a price. There were some type “A” kids who justified this choice because of the possibility that down the road it could affect their college applications. I just wished while I read them they had also mentioned their own personal principles.

You might think that was it. What else could there be? Maybe you will be as surprised as me that there are two more lumps or clumps that came out of this little assignment that turned out to be a social experiment of sorts.

A handful of students fall into the category of not reading directions or writing prompts very well in an effort to fly through any and all assignments. These students said they would admit to cheating so they could retake the test and it is better to just go ahead and admit to something when you know you are guilty. ??? or WTF?

Then there is a fairly large clump of students who cannot wrap their minds around the idea of having to choose between two courses of action which don’t fit their fancy. These students invented their own third choice, which usually called for bringing their parents down to the school to yell at the imbecile of a teacher who would accuse them of something they did not do.

Seriously.

Then there was the rare breed. The kid whose honesty and introspection made me think twice about my own ability to answer that journal question. That kid who comes along maybe once in a career. This is the same kid I quoted in this post with two stanzas of a poem he wrote back in the first quarter where the subject matter was his using sleep as a way to get through the angst of middle school:

What wonders it brings

to shut my eyes closed

and put down all the walls,

and weapons and soldiers

that keep me safe from

the biting and gnashing of bitter teeth

and bothersome, mindless chatter of the world.

Please leave me for awhile

And I will reach you across the wide oceans of my mind

Through the colossal mountains of thought

Beneath the clouded sky of reflection

And speak with you

In the green fields of sleep.

In the first quarter he also wrote a personal narrative (topic= self identity) that actually made me weep every time I read it. The entire piece was an extended metaphor where his life was a mural and he was the artist. It was one of the most beautiful pieces of writing I’ve ever read.

But he is an artist and not motivated too much by grades. Translation: he doesn’t do all his work. I have heard this from his math and science teacher. He does most of my work as he loves writing and he loves literature. He DID NOT do this journal assignment. So I pulled him aside and asked him why not.

Well, Ms Pseudo, I really tried. I started it twice. But I realized I could not answer it honestly. I’d like to think I would take the zero and keep my integrity. But writing that down just seems so pompous and without the humility that such a choice would suggest. And really? How do I know that I wouldn’t just go ahead and say I did something I did not do unless I actually had to make the choice? Whichever way I started my response, I felt like I was being dishonest.

Suddenly I realized that I felt the same way about the entire assignment, but had not let myself get there in my thinking…

I’m really going to miss this kid next year.

Hi! I’m Chuckie. Wanna Play??!!

The Setting:

Last three weeks of school. Students have finished reading the The Crucible and are working in groups to produce a skit for the class.

It is Day Two and the task sheet requires the group members to decide on interpretation, costumes, props, and set layout.

Ms. Psuedo is sitting at her desk, going through the task sheets from the previous class while listening in on the tables and their conversations.

The Action

Table Three erupts into a cacophony of chaos. Athletic male student pushes his chair back, stands up, and firmly makes his unequivocal statement.

I’m not bringing no Chuckie doll to class. NO WAY!!

He shivers.

Female surfer/lifeguard student is grinning ear to ear.

I said I’d bring him. A Chuckie doll for the poppet. It’s an awesome idea.

NO WAY!!! No one is bringing a Chuckie doll.

Assistant teacher goes to the table and asks if she can be of assistance. Do the students need help working things out?

Freaked out, bigger than a house, male student blathers on about butcher knife wielding creepy dolls blah blah blah.

Meanwhile female student catches Ms. Pseudo’s eye and sees the twinkle. Oops Ms. Pseudo.

Male student huffs and puffs and starts to settle back into seat.

Female surfer/lifeguard student eyes Ms. Pseudo and the rest of the kids at the table. She waits until he is seated. Then she turns to the boy with a creepy shit eating grin and shrills,

HI!! I’m Chuckie!! Wanna play??!!

I love my job.

Conversation with my daughter last night…

Me (trying to catch up on blog reading).

Daughter comes into the office.

Mom, one of your former students is in my Woman’s Studies class.

Mmm. That’s nice. (Meanwhile I was reading this post of Motherhood in NYC. It you don’t read Marinka you should check her out. She is so, so funny. Great last blog to read before retiring if you need an uplift).

It’s weird running into your old students. Actually, this one is weird.

Yeah, well, at 150 students a year, over the course of many years, there’s bound to be all types.

No, this one is really weird. Kind of irritating.

I’m still only half listening. Daughter continues.

So, I’m sitting with my friend Brian, a few minutes before class starts, and this guy in front of us turns around and says, “Are you Ms Pseudo’s daughter?” And I say, ahh yeah. My friend Brian was in the middle of telling me a story, so we both just sit there awkwardly and your student keeps going.

Your mom was my teacher.

That’s nice.

I was in her class my senior year.

Ah, that’s nice.

She had cancer that year.

Mom, I swear to God, Brian had to cover his mouth and put his head down to keep from laughing. What am I supposed to say to that, “uh, yeah, I think I remember the year my mom had cancer??”

He probably just wanted to know if I was doing alright.

Yeah, well, maybe. But the next thing he says was “Did your mom’s hair grow back? She was bald when she was my teacher.” Brian’s head is down on the desk and his shoulders are shaking he is laughing so hard.

OK. I turn from the glare of the computer monitor. She has my attention and my mirth as well at this point.

Well did you laugh? Cause it is kind of funny when you put it like that.

She IS laughing, finally. Although, I'm pretty sure it is the first time she has laughed at this story.

I might be laughing right now while I’m telling you this. It is funny when I think about it. But I was actually kind of pissed off. I gritted my teeth and told him your hair had grown back and you were doing fine.

Is that it sweetie? Can I go back to reading?

MOM! Brian and I have switched where we sit. But your student keeps following us around and sitting right in front of us!

Our Many Storied Lives

A couple of weeks ago I wrote a post where I mentioned the integrated project my students (10th grade) were working on. The project was turned in November 7th and I have taken my time reading through them. When the students not only work hard, but also produce something so intimate and personal, I don’t want to rush the process. I don’t want to grade too many at a time because the projects may start to blend together and I’ll forget who said what.

When I posted about the project previously, McEwans asked in the comment thread if I could share some of the students’ stories. Here's a sampling of their stories and the trends...

Overall:
Most of the students give a lot of credit to their parents for instilling values, morals, principles and beliefs. Family was overwhelmingly their most credited influence. A lot of students mentioned chores and being a participating member of their home with a needed role as an important aspect of who they are and how they fit in. Especially students who have to help with younger siblings in the afternoons until parents come home from work.

Friends and peer relationships, of course, figure prominently into their middle and high school years. They are greatly influenced by their peer relationships. It was inspiring to read how some students, upon realizing they had chosen friends with dissimilar values, were brave enough to go and make new friends.

Most of the students who credited God, religious beliefs, and church involvement felt it helped them resist negative peer and societal influences. For these students religion has been a positive experience that has helped mature them with empathy and mindfulness. Others felt disconnected and disappointed from their experiences with organized religions. Some students who go to more zealous and narrowly pedantic churches seemed less empathetic and more judgmental towards others.

The negative factor that shaped their lives and which was cited most often was divorce. This was mostly true when the divorce was bitter or a parent became absent. One student revealed the difficulty of dealing with feelings of jealousy towards friends and cousins who had a father present in their lives.

Students who are fully engaged in school and have engaging exeriences are usually involved in a program outside of core subjects. Band, music, art, sports, dance, student government, extracurricular clubs were all cited as major factors in shaping them and influencing them positively. These factors are the reasons (along with their friends) that they love coming to school. (So please keep out the shout to not cut these programs)

They value their education more than they admit to on a day to day basis.

Those who have gone through tough times in their young years (domestic violence, parental drug abuse, abandonment) could break your heart not only by their resilience, but also by their forgiveness and unconditional love.

Specifically, some highlights and quotes:

My grandfather was a huge influence. He took me fishing and to the beach and spent a lot of time teaching me things from his life. I am proud of him because he served our country in WWII.

A poem of growing up in domestic violence titled “When My Blue Skies Turned Grey”

Another poem a student wrote about her current relationship with her parents includes these two lines:
I hate how we can’t talk like we used to
There are so many things that I want to tell you

Or this insight from an essay, Growing up an only child, I got sunburned from the spotlight that my parents always shined on me.

Another student wrote that her jealousy of her little sister’s birth when she was five and the consequences of being pushed out of her parents spotlight were the factors that drove her to seek excellence in academics (and regain her parents’ attention).

I loved the idealism of some of the students. One wants to become a pharmacist. But she did not write about making her own personal fortune in the pharmaceutical business. Instead she shared how she would like to start a program to bring much needed medications and vaccines to third world countries.

One student’s poem describes her feelings when she passes the beach parks with the tent cities of the homeless:

Tides of grief rolled into my heart
And left my body quaking
My comfort burst by Indigence’s dart
A dream was birthed, a goal set
To aid families down on their luck
To cleanse the next generation of our regrets.

Another student wrote his poem about how he used sleep as therapy to get him through the angst of middle school. A few lines of a six stanza poem:

What wonders it brings
to shut my eyes closed
and put down all the walls,
and weapons and soldiers
that keep me safe from
the biting and gnashing of bitter teeth
and bothersome, mindless chatter of the world.

Please leave me for awhile
And I will reach you across the wide oceans of my mind
Through the colossal mountains of thought
Beneath the clouded sky of reflection
And speak with you
In the green fields of sleep.

Or a poem about a parent who made some bad choices that includes these lines:

When your hero falls from grace
All fairy tales are uncovered
When your hero falls from grace, so do the stars
And your perception of tomorrow.

Some students prefaced their essays with a favorite quote:

“Opportunity is not a lengthy visitor” Into the Woods

“Wars and elections are both too big and too small to matter in the long run. The daily work that goes on, it adds up.” Barbara Kingsolver

“Life is a gift; however, living life with values and principles returns the favor.” Anonymous

“Life is not about finding yourself. It is about creating yourself.” Anonymous

I love my job.