Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Mixed Plate AKA Random Tuesday


A couple of months ago we called a plumber to snake out the upstairs toilet. He said someone is using three times the necessary TP to wipe his bum after pooping. It wasn’t hard to figure out it was the 17 year old male who grew nearly eight inches in eighteen months, eats like a lion (no horse this one, pure carnivore), and doesn’t think a minute ahead of things. We sat him down and explained that he should flush a couple of times mid-poop so he does not clog up the toidy. Not to mention go a bit easier on the bum wiping, or else space out the TP flushing as well with more than one flush. Plumber also recommended the Boy use the downstairs toilet.

Upstairs toilet was plugged again the other day. I was so pissed off at Teen Boy that I came down and handed him the plunger in front of his friends, as they all were hanging in my living room playing X-Box. I thought calling him out for plugging the pipes in front of his peers might embarrass him enough that it would NEVER happen again.

With a prouder than papa grin he looked at his friends, held the plunger over his head like a trophy, and said, “yeah boys, whose your daddy?” They all gave him high fives.

The new school year is going well so far. My students seem to be a really nice bunch of kids. Granted, they haven’t settled into their true colors yet and still are on their first date type side of their personalities. But the other day as the class ended and they trailed off to their next classes, a boy stayed behind and looked at me expectantly over my desk.

“Yes? Did you have a question?”

“I just wanted to say thank-you.”

“Oh. What for exactly?”

“For making the first day of school fun. I really liked your class today.”

Daughter took me to a play the other day. Spelling Bee. It was closing night. She tried to take me opening night but I would have none of it. I really figured a musical based on a Spelling Bee, with grown adults playing young children, sounded about as awful as a musical can get.

I was wrong. It was delightful. Funny. Entertaining. Great sound. It was run like a dinner theatre and you could eat and drink while watching the show. They had lunch carts to make it like a cafeteria. I bought one of everything. At intermission Daughter went and got a Ginger Ale, she handed me a sip and asked how I liked it (I suppose she meant the play). When I replied (apparently a bit too loud for her comfort) that it could use some gin and all would be perfect, she shook her head at me. WHAT?! It could have been the icing on the cake. By the way. I actually prefer vodka, it just seemed like a gin moment.

Did anybody out there say anything when the stupid fucking cell phone companies switched from one year to two year contracts?????!!!!! The phones they sold me at the contract signing price are all pieces of shit that break after one year. On the other hand, every other commercial on TV is for mobile phones or service. I am thinking that they should put a little more energy into customer service, and less into advertising. If I’m not blogging much this week it is because I am spending all my spare time researching which carrier I want to switch to if the one I’m using doesn’t buck up. I’m paying for a family plan and only one of three phones is working.
For more Random Fun, head on over to The Unmom.

48 comments:

Kingsmom said...

What is it with boys and poop? My two year old already likes to yell "Mom, I pooped a giant!"

Hit 40 said...

Only one phone is working?? Ridiculous. We have Verizon. I have heard others complain, but I have never had an issue with the company or their phones.

I liked the little boy who greeted you at your desk to thank you for making the first day fun... I usually dig right into some math which surprises the kids. They have spent the whole day playing name games and not working. I like to get a ton done in the fall after spring break the game is over!!! I will try to fit in some fun for them.

Angie Ledbetter said...

Double-, triple- or even courtesy-flushes go a long way in keeping the peace. My 17 and 18 y.o.s would've held up the sceptor in proud accomplishment too. *sigh*

Love that first day kid and his sweetness. Hope you get a bunch like that.

Linda said...

Two words from the toilet stopping Queen; Flushable wipes!

How sweet was that kid?!? (Probly turn out to be your worst nightmare.)

I had a POS phone from my company that died long beofe the contract. when I complained they sent me a new on.

Jan said...

ROFLMAO - never underestimate a 17-year-old boy and how proud he can be of having to plunge a toilet in front of his friends.

Oh, don't EVEN get me started on cell phone companies and their shitty phones and stupid contracts. I think, at this point, I'm stuck with Verizon until I'm 108 years old.

Pastor Sharon said...

Gosh that makes me miss having a house full of boys!!!!

They all stop in here and there when they come home from college. But it's not the same.

I miss them terribly!

blueviolet said...

Your son's comment COMPLETELY and TOTALLY cracked me up.I'm still laughing actually. That was a good one.

I would have left my cell phone service a long time ago but like you, we keep switching phones and I get locked back into a stupid contract over and over.

Mama Badger said...

Argh, LG already grabs the plunger from the bathroom and toddles around with it. Is this what I have to look forward to?

Don't get me started on the cell phone people. I was there last Thursday, Friday and then I had to call this morning. I did, however, find out that most companies in our area? Are really just Verizon with a different name. Great.

Joanie M said...

LOL at your boys will be boys comment!

Love the comment of your student!

Kristan said...

Omg boys are so gross... lol.

AWW to your new student. I hope they're all that sweet. :)

I dunno what you're on now or how it does in Hawaii, but my family and I have had Verizon (after leaving AT&T like 10 years ago) and love it. My phones usually work for a long time, but the battery on my latest (an LG chocolate) is finally pooping out... My eligibility for an upgrade is the end of this month, though.

Deb said...

i hate all cell phone companies and all cell phones. it's all such a rip off, but you'd have to pry mine out of my cold, dead hand.

oh, and please... disgusting bowel activity is like a badge of honor to teen boys. no point in trying to shame him. i usually just yell through the door periodically "you need to flush now"... "how bout a flush now"... "one more flush"

storyteller at Sacred Ruminations said...

Teenagers can drive one NUTZ ;--)
Perhaps next time HE can do the 'snaking' ...(with or w/o his friends)??? Don't get me started about phone companies! Wonderful moment with the student who remained to thank you ... GOLDEN moment ... what a friend used to call 'a rose' amongst the thorns ;--)
Hugs and blessings,

The Blonde Duck said...

Your son's comment took the post. It almost wiped out the sweetness of the boy thanking you for a good class.

Jeff D'Antonio said...

All it takes is one "Thank you" like that from a student to make it all worthwhile, and suddenly all the bad stuff just fades away.

And you know what's even better? When a former student comes back to visit you ten years later, with a PhD in mechanical engineering and a job at NASA, shakes your hand, and says "Thanks for everything."

Have I mentioned how much I love teaching?

Joanna Jenkins said...

Hi, I'm just back from vacation catching up on your posts. Hope all's well.

I laughed out loud at "...“yeah boys, whose your daddy?” What is it with guys a poop?!?!?!

Glad to hear school is going well and the kids are behaving-- so far!

xoxo

lisa said...

Maybe you should leave some toilet paper for your brown-nosing student. Unless, of course, he's on the level and then he's perfect.

Amy said...

Your son is so like my brother growing up. He would have do the same thing as your son did. I know cell phone's can be pretty sucky...

The Rambler said...

Boys! Now if you were his boss at work telling him to do it...maybe might have been different? :)

And how nice to get a thank you like that!

I had heard good things about Spelling Bee. Now reading yours, I should have gone. (With a bottle of gin...right?)

:)

I am Harriet said...

OMG...I have the same teen boy toilet issue here!
Have a Wonderful Tuesday!
http://iamharriet.blogspot.com/2009/08/random-hollywood-gossip.html

only a movie said...

Oh yes. Our boys are similar in so many ways...

Glad you had fun at the play. And what a way to start the school year.

:-)

Smart Mouth Broad said...

Cell phone companies are just like the "drive thru". Just ask your hubs. :-)

Toni said...

His friends high-fived him for blocking the loo? Made me chuckle!

And I know exactly what you mean about the cell phone companies. We had one over here that was very popular and screwed everyone from a 12 to 18 month contract without realising. The worst thing was we couldn't get out of it because of some technicality. Screw the lot of them!

otin said...

I plugged the toilet one time when I was a kid, and my Mother screamed at me for using too much paper. I said"I haven't even used any paper yet"! LMFAO!!!!!

Mango Girl said...

Amazing what makes teens proud!

As for the phone carrier...good luck! I just went through the same thing. Still not sure I made the right choice. Think I will buy 2 cans and a piece of string in 2 years. Or get carrier pigeons.

Mango Girl said...

p.s. Did I mention I tagged you today?

A Mom on Spin said...

Very random randomness. . . and - once again, I'll stop complaining about my teenage girls!

Michele said...

Teenage boys are pretty disgusting in general but you have to admit that was funny.

Kathy said...

LOL at the boy, that's funny. I will say this - at least you know he wipes, and I won't explain any further. LOL

I have Verizon and haven't had any issues.

Cool student. I hope he's still like that at the end of the year!

smiles4u said...

Yep, boys are gross. And I am so with you on the cell phone companies and the crap we have to put up with them. We are making the switch tomorrow actually and even though I have hated who we are with, I am kind of dreading dealing with a whole new company...ugh. I have been using the same cheap phone for the past 3 years...it's actually held together with tape because my grandson threw it about a year ago...ugh!

Captain Dumbass said...

Can't wait until my boys turn into teens.

Casey said...

I think I'm a seventeen year old boy since I mentally high fived him for providing such a huge specimen. The clogged toilet does suck though, sorry.

I can't decide if your student was a suck up or sincere but that was a nice thing to say. I'll bet you're a cool teacher. A strict but fun one. Am I right?

Oh, and I'm "officially" representing Keely today...consider her represented.

Columbia Lily said...

yea for nice students!!! I love those moments...i am hoping for a smoother year this year too.

PS, i have verizon and have no problems with them...i just got a new phone with a TEACHER DISCOUNT that is about 100 times nicer than my previous one and allows me to check my email at school since my stupid district blocks everything but their own websites (bastards) and i am paying the same as I have been for the last two phones that did far less.

darsden said...

OMG I had the same talk except it was with a 4 year old...LOL try explaining it doesn't take the whole roll because that is what is hanging there...!

Cell companies do have a golden contract clause..just try breaking it... man you could break out of prison ...or free Michel easier..LOL

Sprite's Keeper said...

My husband is the king of the plungers, even when it's not his fault. Being truthful here. :-)
The kid apparently takes after her father with all the crap coming out of her. She'll be learning to plunge before she learns to ride a bike.

Janie at Sounding Forth said...

I loved this post! All the cool little anecdotes about your life.

Mrsbear said...

Ha. Leave it to boys to high five each other over massive turds. My 14 year old daughter is infamous for toilet stoppage, if I'd pulled the plunger thing on her, I'm pretty sure she would've died on the spot.

And high-five on making class fun, teach. ;)

Dingo said...

The kid that thanked you is either a first rate kiss up or he expected the first day of school to be on par with a root canal. Either way, I'm sure we haven't heard the last of him.

Creepy said...

We caught Graham about to flush a poopy diaper down the toilet the other day... disaster narrowly averted.

Cell phone companies are the devil.

Maureen@IslandRoar said...

My son had this same "problem" last year at his school bathroom. What do they eat??
I know what you mean with cell phones, especially when you're paying this huge price for a family plan. I want them to work and keep working!
Good Luck!

Gaston Studio said...

Laughed out loud at your boy's reaction to the potential embarrassment.

Personally, I think there's too much advertising on everything. Like you said, if these companies would spend some money on customer service, and I might include research, they wouldn't need the blasted ads.

JennyMac said...

Our 2 year old will tell us if the poop is "grande" or "piquito" Seriously. Its adorable but really?

Duchess said...

Crumbs! New school year already?

Mobile phones are SO much more advanced in the UK -- and so much more flexible. You can choose from no contract, 30 days contract, 1 year, 18 months or 2 years. Longer contracts, best phones. Oh, and minutes only get used up by the person making the call, never the person receiving. The only time you get charged for receiving is if you use your phone in a foreign country.
We were way ahead of you in getting mobile telephony going, so maybe you guys will get some of our benefits eventually...

Tricia said...

WAIT!!! I'm still trying to teach my son to WIPE his own bum and aim at the toilet when he pees. Are you telling me in 12 years, I'm still going to be having talks with him regarding appropriate toilet behavior. OMG, someone please save me now.

ReRe said...

We are empty nesters, and I still deal with potty issues! I swear my hubby couldn't hit the broad side of a barn! Come on hit the hole or sit on it one! Cause I hate stepping in pee!

creative kerfuffle said...

that is too funny about the plunged incident--he wore it like a badge of honor and his friends thought it was cool. wow. i think it's a boy/potty humor thing.

Nishant said...

They all stop in here and there when they come home from college. But it's not the same.

I miss them terribly!


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Ginger said...

Your son has a wonderful attitude and a great sense of self worth. He took a potentially embarrassing situation and gave his friends a big laugh, at his expense. I think that is awesome!

(heh heh)

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