Monday, September 28, 2009

Angels

Those of you who have been reading this blog for any length of time know I have been on a semi blog break this last month. I miss reading blog posts and have been an infrequent visitor. My own posting has been sporadic at best.

The unbloggable has reared its head like a dark phantom and this darkness has permeated nearly each thread in the fabric of our family.

A lot of the time I have not been blogging I have been spending in meditation and prayer. I often pray for angels to watch over and help my family through this difficult period. The angels in my mind’s eye are heavenly angels, guardian angels, mystical and beyond this earthly world.

In order to not get sick while I negotiate one day at a time (because yes, the worrying has caused a dramatic weight loss and lack of sleep) I try to get out and take my walk. Yesterday, instead of walking in the morning, my walk was put off while I graded student work and made sure everything was stable in the home. So, instead of walking at my normal early A.M. hour, I set out a little after 11.

Walking in the heat of the day felt invigorating and cleansing in a different sort of way. About ¾ of the way down the bike path, I noticed a man a few feet off to the side, somewhat hidden in the bushes, leaning against a tree. I became a bit wary, as a woman walking alone (Border Collie is a true unknown variable when it comes to protection). I veered to give myself room to bolt, but as I passed I noticed the man was leaning against a tree, eyes closed, and looking like he was meditating himself. He looked to be in his fifties, only about 5’5”, and perhaps missing a few teeth from the way his mouth hung slightly open. He looked like he was taking a break in the shade.

I passed him and went on.

On the way back, a good 15 minutes later, he was in the exact same position. I began to wonder if he might be OK. I almost walked on by as he still looked like he was asleep, and since that part of the trail is somewhat isolated, was also still unsure how much I wanted to encounter a strange man while I myself was alone.

But I stopped and said, “Hello…. Are you OK?”

“No. I ran away from my care home,” the man replied. He kept his eyes closed as he addressed me and his palate was handicapped in a way that made his speech difficult to understand.

“Can you open your eyes?”

“No. I lost my eyes as a child. I cannot see.”

“Can I help you somehow?”

“Yes. Please. Call my case manager and take me to the hospital. I do not want to go back to that home. They are mean there. I do not want to go back.”

I used my cell phone to call for an ambulance. He had run, barefoot, quite a ways. We were about 100 or more yards from the park parking lot and the neighborhood from which he had run.

“Do you want me to meet the medics and bring them to you or can you walk out?”

“I want to come with you.”

The man held out his hand and I guided him from the bushes. He took my arm. His hand was soft and pudgy, but he held my arm like I was a guiding force of light for him. He shuffled slowly and talked the entire way back to the road.

His name is Roy and he has been in care homes for a long time.

As he was placed on a gurney and hoisted into the ambulance he was smiling a little closed mouth smile. And he thanked me for helping him. I had a hard time not climbing into that ambulance and riding with him, but the medics seemed very caring and I was pretty sure they would not like me bringing BC.

As I walked home the enormity of gratitude that I felt for a chance to be Roy’s angel gave me a buoyancy of spirit. Thankful that I was given an opportunity to act as an angel for Roy gave me hope that there are angels walking amongst us. I said a prayer that those who can help my loved ones will recognize the need when and if the time comes.

I took this experience as a hopeful sign.

54 comments:

The Good Cook said...

What a beautiful experience. Perhaps Roy had been praying for an angel to help him too. You are proof that there are angels among us - everyday. We just need to ask for the help we need. No prayers go unanswered.

A star in your crown for helping this poor soul!

Sprite's Keeper said...

You are beautiful, Pseudo. Beauty cannot help but ripple back to the source.

Jan said...

I don't believe in Karma or fate, but I DO believe we reap what we sow.

May your harvest be a wonderful one, you sweet lady.

Linda said...

It pains me to know you are hurting. Prayers will be said for you and your family but I wish I could do more. Take care of yourself Pseudo. Your family needs you.

Em said...

Tears of such emotion for you sweet struggling Pseudo. You helped a lost soul - I know with all my heart that that will not go unnoticed.

Roy's situation could have been one of complete loss - instead, one small gesture changed a course.

There is a lesson in that story for all of us.

Continued prayers to you.

Erin@TheLocalsLoveIt said...

That was simply beautiful. I am thinking of you.

mo.stoneskin said...

I'm not so good at Biblical references these days, but I'm reminded of that Psalm (91?) which speaks of angels, and of preventing one stumbling.

Jeff D'Antonio said...

I'm glad you were there to help Roy when he needed you.

And right now I'm asking my guardian angel to head out to Hawaii and watch over your family for a little while...just make sure I get her back when you're done with her, okay? I have a feeling she's going to like it there.

Kristan said...

Oh wow, Pseudo, what a great thing you did. I'm so glad you happened by to help him.

And I hope you get your own angel soon. {hug}

Mama Dawg said...

What a wonderful experience. As usual, my thoughts and prayers are with you guys at this time.

Jess said...

Very touching!! It is amazing when you can just do one small thing for someone and how much better it makes the world look, even for just a moment.

Creepy said...

chills and tears. i wanted to get in that ambulance with Roy too.

Michel said...

What a fabulous story. I, too, believe in Angels and I believe that God is waiting for us to invite him in to help us, but that you have to ask and you have to recognize when you are being asked.

You clearly did that. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers!

only a movie said...

Thank you for sharing. Glad you were there for him. Glad he was there for you.
xxxooo

Maggie said...

I bet those Angels were already there looking out for you. You are in my prayers.

Amy said...

This was an amazing post. I hope you are doing okay. Sending my hugs...

Elenka said...

I just stumbled on your blog....don't know how...actually I think I have visited before.
As a fellow teacher, we know that sometimes we are angels for some of our students, but just mini-angels most of the time. Barely even that.
This time, you were a big angel. Good for you.
Who knows what would have happened to him if it were not for you.
Good job, teach.
Best to you and your family.

otin said...

Anything that I can do, you just let me know!

A Mom on Spin said...

It WAS a hopeful sign, my friend!

Good goes around. . .

lisa said...

You were Roy's angel and it will be returned.

Use BC as a source of comfort to you...that's what they do best! :)

IB said...

Awesome. I like to think I'd have done the same. But I don't know.

Thanks for being a good and kind person in a time when it's so easy to not be.

♥ Braja said...

I'm just wondering....wasn't he YOUR angel, too?
:)

Fragrant Liar said...

You are indeed an angel. And you were fortunate to come upon a lost soul who needed you to be that for him.

Twenty Four At Heart said...

Sometimes I think helping other people when things are shitty in our own lives is the only thing that keeps us hanging on. There is the benefit to the Roy's out there - but there is also a strength and a hopefulness we receive by helping others. Hugs!

Gaston Studio said...

OMG Pseudo, you met the proverbial man on the road who was worse off than you! Your guardian angel must have wanted you to see that no matter how hard things seem right now, they will be better in time.
And the man wore no shoes... I can't believe what a mystic experience this was for you.

blueviolet said...

I think I'd be inclined to take from it just what you did.

You know that you are constantly in my thoughts.

Captain Dumbass said...

Good for you, Pseudo. I hope your troubles pass quickly.

Maureen@IslandRoar said...

Oh Pseudo, I got chills reading this. It's such a cliche, but I do believe helping other people saves us.
You and yours are still in my thoughts and prayers.
Sending blog-hugs.

Casey said...

What a great pick me up. I'm glad you were able to help out someone in need and renew your spirits.

Hope things are picking up for you guys.

Kathy B! said...

I fully believe that you attract the energy that you set forth yourself. I really hope that makes sense. I was just trying to articulate the thought to me 9 year old the other day...

Midlife Jobhunter said...

I continue to hope and pray for you.

ds said...

You were Roy's angel, and yours will appear, unexpectedly and at the right moment. (perhaps he was a little bit "your" angel--helping him helped you, too)I am keeping you in my thoughts.

lisleman said...

such a good action to take. we need to help each other. thanks for posting this example of a good deed.

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

That's an amazing, and wonderful story. I would take it as a hopeful sign, too. You done good and it should come back to you tenfold.

And I hope things get easier for you and your family soon.

xoxoxo

- Margaret

Vodka Mom said...

please, please DO be hopeful. God sends us ways to lift ourselves up.

I'm so glad you grabbed ahold of yours.......

Beth said...

You ARE an angel! It really makes me happy that he let you help him.

Don't forget to let someone help you when you need it, too. I've been thinking about you. My heart aches for you and I truly pray for strength for you and your family.

Pastor Sharon said...

Wow, you were his angel! What an amazing leap of faith and courage just for you to reach out, not knowing if it were safe.

And because of you, that blind man didn't wander so far away that he couldn't be rescued!

This made me cry!

Joanna Jenkins said...

Oh Pseudo-- What a beautiful story. Know that I am cheering you and your family on and that my thoughts and prayers are with you.
xo

Hit 40 said...

You were very brave to take a chance!! I am thankful that it turned out well for both of you. You were truly an angel. I hope the man finds better care. I am afraid that he is a victim of our society's desire to ignore the unhealthy or mentally ill.

fawndear said...

Thank you for visiting my little forest. It was so nice to return the visit. My family and myself have been going through the worst unbloggable I could ever imagine right now and so I can so understand where you're at right now (maybe). I too believe in angels, both real and unseen and loved the fact that you got the chance to be Roy's angel. It always helps me feel a little better to help someone else even when life is throwing garbage at me.
Hang in there! You're not Alone!

starrlife said...

You were his angel and he was the message! Dear Psuedo- hang in there. Poor Roy sounds like so many of my clients and I'm grateful that you had the courage to reach out and help him. Kindness wins today....

Amy said...

This is an amazing story that brought tears. I believe you both were angels that day. You were his special angel that took him back to safety and showed him compassion in a way it seemed he hadn't been shown in a while. He was your angel who gave you hope in an uncertain world.

Yes, my dear, there certainly are angels walking amoung us!

sitting on the mood swing at the playground said...

This is such a great story. You were an angel to Roy. As I was reading this, I swear I could feel the softness of his hand. Yay for you for your kind act.

shortmama said...

What a beautiful and moving experience

Sniffles and Smiles said...

What a beautiful story!!! You are an inspiration!!!! Your courage, and compassion are so rare!!!! Thank you! ~Janine XO

Joanie M said...

You are a very kind person! Thanks for sharing your story with us!

Jack said...

Thank goodness you found the courage to stop and talk to this man... I'm not sure I would have - stranger danger and all. I'm sure this man is grateful for your kindness!

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

You are an absolutely beautiful person, Pseudo!

You are constantly in my thoughts and prayers...((HUGZ!!))

Mrsbear said...

I love that you were both brought there. It's beautiful. You helped him when he needed help and in doing so, he brought you that lovely message.

I hope things are slowly but steadily improving for you and your family.

anymommy said...

What an inspiring moment, I'm so glad you asked him if he was all right. I'm thinking of you and hoping your own dark times pass quickly and leave every one safe and healthy.

sherri said...

amazing, beautiful story. You and your family are in my thoughts. Having the opportunity to help Roy and knowing you needed to is as special as you are and can't help but be a good sign.

Smart Mouth Broad said...

You WERE his angel. And he was blessed to have you. I'm certain there are angels watching over you too. Sending big hugs.

msprimadonna67 said...

I agree with Braja--perhaps it was he, in fact, who was your angel, placed in your path to renew your hope and spirit. Best wishes to you.

hillgrandmom said...

You are a good person Pseudo!