When I took Daughter shopping for her prom dress we found her dream gown at the first shop. It was a Cinderella gown, a Belle gown, a “puffy” gown. It was a beautiful deep, dusky pink, my girly girl’s favorite color. If she had gone straight to the fairy godmother of all godmothers and had been allowed to design her prom dress herself, it would have been exactly what we discovered hanging in the middle of the rack that day.
Picture this in deep, dark pink.
When my daughter was a little girl, she acquired every Princess gown on the market; not only all the Disney ones from the Disney store, but every Puffy dress that came her way. Her dance recital costumes and her puffy dresses from thrift stores were the bulk of it, but it did not stop there. Even mall boutiques and big department stores would occasionally have a timeless, fairylike dress hidden among the I’m-trying-to-look-sixteen-even-though-I’m-six collections.
Growing up, Daughter loved twirling around in these swirly, puffy dresses. ALL. THE. TIME.
Everyone’s home for dinner? Daughter would run to get “dressed.” Hub’s and my eyes would follow her scrambling up the stairs, then glance over each other in our shorts and T’s, shrug, and wonder from what storybook this child had been delivered. She played fairy princess constantly, sometimes with neighbor kids and sometimes by herself. The child swirled and pranced through her entire childhood.
The girl might have been seventeen for senior prom, but she had not outgrown her love for Cinderella styled gowns. She beamed at herself in front of the full length mirror and then surprised the holy crap out of me when she turned around and said,
It’s pretty but…no.
Why was she hesitating you might ask?
Well, the gown was over the budget we had discussed. I had just gone back to work after six months of cancer treatments and there were unpaid medical bills. And since Daughter hasn’t a selfish bone in her body (don’t think for a second that this is not exploited on a daily basis by Teen Boy) she said no thank-you.
Since I could not convince her it is sometimes OK to throw a bit of practicality out the back door, we put the dress on hold. Hubs and I then spent a week explaining to her that we really didn’t mind spending the money. In fact, we WANTED to pay the extra $100 so badly, she would be doing us a disservice by denying us the pleasure. How COULD she leave us with the burden of guilt heavily cloaked over our shoulders when she had this wonderful opportunity to lessen the weight of our burden?
That was our thinking and although we were trying to be funny and dramatic in our delivery, it was the truth. She’d been through so much that year. She had been my rock through every step of the cancer treatments. And… Did I mention that for her senior year we had pulled Daughter out of the private girl’s school she had been going to and put her in the public school where I worked? Yeah we did. She actually volunteered to do it to help us out. It was huge and a financial life saver, but oh the guilt.
So Daughter. What’s $100 when you not only saved us $1,000’s of dollars in tuition, you also never complained even once?
Once she acquiesced, the dress was all she could talk about. It was the most beautiful gown ever, better than all the dance costumes, the Disney costumes, the gowns she had designed in her head. She was ecstatic.
We felt like the best parents in the world to be able to put that smile on her face.
When we went back to buy the dress she brought a friend with her. Daughter tried on the gown to show her friend (and also so I could take pictures with my camera phone to send to aunties in the Mainland). She smiled like a goddess and asked her friend what she thought.
The girl pursed her lips and in the most hesitant of manners told my daughter she wasn’t sure if she should buy that dress. Because “puffy” dresses were not in style, that everyone else would have on “slinky” gowns.
Daughter’s smile disappeared and was replaced by a look of utter confusion.
I told Daughter if she felt like a million bucks in the dang thing, then who cares if it’s not like everyone else’s?
Her friend kept it up; how Daughter will feel out of place, that maybe at her all girls’ school it would have been OK, but that she would stand out like a sore thumb at a big public school prom. In order to pull it off, she would need to WANT TO BE THE CENTER OF ATTENTION. And possibly not in a good way.
I told my daughter she should not care what people will think and to get what would make her happy.
Easy for me to say. I’m not a 17 year old girl at a new school.
In the end Daughter took the girl’s advice, saying to me that even though she loved the dress, it was more important to her to fit in, to feel comfortable, and to have fun. She bought a slinky black dress for half the price but instead of being pleased at saving the money, I felt a little bit bummed and tried not to show it.
I think that if she could have pretended to be six, she would have asked for the slinky gown AND the pink gown, the puffy gown only to play dress up in around the house.
The day of the prom was such a great day to have a daughter. Hair. Makeup. Photos. She looked like a movie star and we had mostly forgotten about the puffy pink Belle gown. I drove her over to a friend’s house where 16 of them were meeting to catch a limo ride together. All the parents were there with their cameras.
Daughter disappeared into the house while I met and made nice with the other parents. Finally, the mom of that house hollered at the bunch of prom goers to come out and pose in front of the limo for us.
The parents gathered in the front yard and readied their cameras like a pack of paparazzi.
The kids emerged single file looking awesome in their tuxedos and gowns, their flowers and smiles.
As my daughter emerged through the door, she had a funny look on her face, but before I had a second to wonder why, her friend from the shopping trip came sauntering out of the house behind her…
The fucking bitch was wearing the exact puffy Belle gown that she had talked my daughter out of - the only difference was that it was in Cinderella blue instead of dusky Princess pink.
I couldn’t fucking believe it. I wanted to tear the dress off the little cunt and then whip her with it. Sometimes acting civilized is more work than it is worth, but in the end I did not make a scene because I knew my Daughter would not want me to.
My daughter has a lot more class than I do. She shrugged it off, never said a thing, and went and had a great time. Then she politely never spoke to the girl again.
Me? I would have made sure I accidently spilled my whole dinner and a cup of coffee on the snake.
For more prom spins, head on over to Sprite's Keeper.
Your timing is amazing ... make sure you check out my post tomorrow (wed) on Mean Girls. We could have posted your prom posts & my post for tomorrow together -- they fit together perfectly.
Nothing high school bitchy girls do surprises me in the least. So wonderful to know your daughter is not like them.
Wow. Just wow. You're daughter is a class act, that's all I can say. So, I can't remember, but I don't think she's married yet? I'm afraid I'm confusing my blogs tonight, but I think she's still in college right?
So that means she has years to dream about her perfect, Cinderella wedding gown ;-) No bitches invited.
I was about to go to bed for the night when I noticed your post in my reader. I'm glad I read but now I might be too angry to sleep. What a little bitch, I hate hate HATE cutthroat teenage girls like that. Your daughter is amazing and a much bigger person than I would have been. I'm STILL fuming and it wasn't even my kid who got slighted.
Sounds to me like you showed remarkable restraint. As did your daughter.
Now, next time (God forbid) accidently spill some red wine on it.
All i have to say to that horrible girl is, "Karma's a Bitch!" That stunt was plain mean and it will come back to her 10 fold. What a nasty piece of work... Grrrrrrr
Your daughter showed alot of class. While, I on the other hand, would have held her down while you beat the crap out of her.
Your daughter's reaction was indeed classy and absolutely right for the moment, followed by never speaking to her again.
BUT, I'd have wanted to do exactly what you felt at the time!!!
Karma, that girl will get hers one day and the sad thing is, she probably won't understand why.
Oh, bless her ever High Class heart. Karma will get lil miss bitch one day. That is a horrible way to treat somebody. But, your daughter is remarkable. (I on the other hand would have wispered something horrible in the bitches ear and tried to ruin her night) Wow, awesome tribute to WHO your daughter IS and was at a tender age. She had her priorities straight. KUDOS to YOU and HER!
Daughter is high class every step of the way. Little Miss Cruela DeVille will get hers! I love how you got angry for your daughter and wish I could have been there to shoot daggers with you. You're linked! (BTW, Sprite is all about princesses and dresses and dressing up now. I guess I should take this as forewarning, huh?)
OMIGOD WHAT A B*TCH! I'm proud of you and your daughter for your class and restraint. I'm also glad I believe in karma, so I can be assured that girl got what was coming to her.
I am speechless, I thought girls like that only exisited in the movies. Your daughter is an inspiration to us all.
I am speechless, I thought girls like that only existed in the movies. Your daughter is an inspiration to us all.
OH. MY. GAWD. What a fucking BITCH. I'm with you - I'd have made sure she had one helluva a messy "accident" at some point during the evening.
Your daughter is a treasure.
OMG, that little bitch!!!!!! I am so mad for your daughter right now! lol But good for her letting it roll off her back, it seems you have a wonderful, beautiful, mature young lady there!
You've raised a classy girl there. Nice job!
OMG. I love you. I seriously would have had to have someone hold me back! Thank goodness I wasn't there to help you tag-team that pig headed gutter slut of a whore. However, all that being said, you have raised a fine gal! I know she looked beautiful in her gown no matter what and by not bitch slapping the shit out of that girl shows what a princess she REALLY is!
Girls like your daughter's friend (ahem) never seem to grow out of being like that, and I guess the only consolation is that everyone hates them but is pretending not to.
Your daughter behaved beautifully, but I'm with you. I would have stepped on the hem of the Cinderella blue gown as she was walking away, apologized profusely for the resulting huge rip, and then offered to mend it with masking tape and staples.
What a pretty dress. That was totally rude what that girl did to her. I think your daughter has real class and it is because you have taught her so well. I bet she was so pretty at the prom.
I can't even formulate an articulate response I am SO ANGRY for her. Awesome for her that she handled the matter with such class and dignity! I fight the fight against the Plastics all too often in my classrooms. Wretched, evil, self-centered, cold-blooded, arrogant, little ...
How fun for me to know that I am not the only one who would want to level the girl for being such a coniving biotch.
It's been two years. So, during that time the self absorbed young lady managed to alienate herself from the entire group, without my daughter's help. After that incident there was something to do with her fooling around with a boy who was dating another friend.
Meanwhile, Daughter is a music/voice major at the University and now says the black gown is one that she can use for formal recitals. She learned a lesson about the capabilities of some people and ended up with a dress that is better in the long run.
Grrrr. I really don't know how you restrained yourself. I guess we do what we have to do for our kids but I would have had a hard time not slapping her. I can't believe the nerve of some people. And sadly we have too many of those types.
Wow, Pseudo, you showed a great deal of restraint. I don't think I could have managed. People like that skank just make my blood boil. Your daughter did the right thing and handled it beautifully but I am not that mature.
Like flurrious said, those types never really learn but it is consoling to know that their lives turn out pretty miserably.
I'm sorry to say but Cunt is the only word for this girl. My mouth dropped open when I heard that. Please give your daughter a big hug and just remind her that this bitch will get it back in spades one day b/c she will pull this shit over and over again until one day someone calls her on it and she'll be screwed. I'm so upset...
You are so lucky in having such a marvellous daughter. And I'm glad to hear Karma is getting her licks on that other bitch.
i KNEW IT. i knew where this was going halfway thru. you know, you should be sooooo proud of your daughter. what a classy, upright, wonderful LADY. the definition of a lady. good for her for taking the high road.
still? i want to beat the bitch myself. just sayin.
I'm mad for her too, and I'd have felt the same way you did. Your daughter is a better person than I think I could have been.
Girls are BITCHES.
HAVEN'T I made that clear???
I wish I could still say fuck. I am being watched like a HAWK
oh. wow. wow. The look on my face would have gave it all away, I would have been soooo pissed. But it sounds like you were too.
Your daughter sounds like an angel, and if that dress was as beautiful as the picture on your post, well then gaw, it was heavenly!!
Your daughter is impressive. I got mad just reading that.
Your daughter sounds amazing. I would have ripped the bitch's lips off. That dress was so beautiful. I want to wear one like that, just once.
Don't worry, that girl will get hers. Always happens.
Your daughter sounds AMAZING! It is unfortunate that some people (especially girls) can be so damn mean.
I've watched how other girls have made my gorgeous step-daughters feel insecure and worthless. What is the gain in making someone feel that bad?
One day, that girl will get her due.
Check out my post today and accept the challenge! (please!!)
Just wanted to tell you that I stumbled this. A very sad life lesson
(insert Pat Morita voice here)Da Student hava become da teacher.(end Pat Morita voice)
My first visit here, but I can already tell your daughter is one hell of a fine young woman. She will go far. With self-awareness and confidence like this, there is no limit to what she can accomplish.
I am awed. Truly awed.
What a bitch this girl was...I do not like mean girls and to be quite honest I had a few fights with them back in the day. It's awesome that your daughters character rose to the occasion...how proud you must be.
In regards to your previous post about your sons prom...I have 2 sons so I am well aware what it's like...been there and done that...lol.
I have no happy prom memories for myself either...I would not want to go back and relive that time in my life for anything!
You are a great mom. And you obviously raised a great young lady.
I had a "friend" like that in high school. She messed around with everybody's "boyfriends", was an attention whore, etc.
She recently "friended" me on facebook and from what I can see on her profile (I ignored her request) she hasn't changed one bit.
Her mom once said to her, right in front of me: "Why can't you be more like skyewriter?"
That was good enough for me; I actually felt sorry for her. But it's true: what comes around goes around.
If what happened to your daughter were ever to happen to a daughter of mine I hope I would have your class (and would remember this story).
Oh fuck. Excuse me. Honestly. Your daughter has so much class. What a piece of shit that low class tripe is....oh damn....heartbreaking..."friends," huh? Priceless. It reminds me of the recent situation I had...just out of hospital, broken and battered, had died in Emergency and been resuscitated, smashed to pieces and spun a thousand ways, husband the same, and the "friend" who had spent so much time caring for me (not asked, just came and 'took over') sent me an sms and told me "You're not as fragile as you pretend to be. Anyone would forgive me for saying these things, as I'm entitled to be pissed off at you." Envy, Pseudo...envy....it's DAMNED ugly....
Your daughter is an angel. My heart was aching already when you talked about her selflessness and humility, really I just wanted to hug her. And I wanted her to twirl in her beautiful puffy dress at prom to her heart's content. Now I'm just angry, you both showed a lot of restraint, truly. I know two wrongs don't make a right, but really I would have wanted so much to ruin the night for that little twit. What a horrible little shit. Agh.
In movies that bitch friend always gets what she deserves. May it happen in real life. Your daughter is the real princess, long may she reign.
I love you for dropping the 'C' bomb!!! What a supreme douchebag for stealing her dress! Fucking whore!
When you said that the "friend" kept pressuring your daughter not to buy the dress, I got a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. I kept hoping that this was not how the story would end. All I could think of was, "What would Alexis Carrington do?"
While your daughter is a class act, I suggest that you show her a few Dynasty re-runs. Cat-fights, hair pulling, and a toss in the pool should be in every girl's arsenal, no? These new chicks (a la Gossip Girl) just don't know how to pull off a real throw down.
I literally wanted to throw up when I read what she did.
THIS is why I'm scared to raise a girl. Because of stupid heartless bitches like that.
Oh, and your daughter is one amazing lady. For real.
As you probably know, I haven't been around much lately because of graduation but I saved this post to read.
Oh. My. Word. I can arrange to come visit and you and I can go take out that girl. I have never heard such a terrible story in my life. I hope that little thing gets all she has coming to her - and not in a nice way.
On the other hand, you have raised a fine, fine woman. Congrats on that.
Unbelievable!!! I'm extremely impressed by you, your husband, and your daughter. The only good thing about this is karma. It'll bite her in the arse one day when she least expects it.
And I'm so glad to hear that you're recovering...As you know I'm new to your blog and had no idea.
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