Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Spinning Wool, I Mean Words

The Spin Cycle topic this week is words…. Last week it was appearance. Both topics are in my range of interest and ponder possibilities. I looked forward to writing the posts.

But I am having the hardest time carving out my blogging time. My writing time. My computer and Internet time. Since the move these pastimes have fallen off the proverbial cliff. Or rolled down the cliff to a place I cannot get to.

I wish I had the time to really spin this. To reach down into the alleyways and side channels of my mind where words are floating and forming all the time. Where words collide and shift and mesh and come together and fall apart.

Ever read Bee Season? I loved the idea behind the concept of words and their effect and foundations within our minds.

Instead of blogging, for the last six months I have been spending an hour each morning reading spiritual literature and giving meditation a shot. I have not found the mantra that is capable of causing a surcease of thought patterns and words from emanating continuously through my mind. But I make myself give it my best shot each day.

One of these days those utterances, those words, will take me to a peaceful place. I’m counting on it.

So, since I am going with a stream of consciousness type of post and do not have the time to hone and craft and mix and match and come up with a perfectly worded post that gives me a feeling of completeness upon finishing, I am going to finish with the opening paragraph of the novel I am reading right now.

A paragraph so beautiful that it took my breath away the first time I read it.

A paragraph I find so well worded that I have reread it several times and I am only on page 88 of the book.

There is no scatheless rapture. Love and time put me in this condition. I am leaving soon for the Nightland, where all ghosts of men and animals yearn to travel. We’re called to it. I feel it pulling at me, same as everyone else. It is the last unmapped country, and a dark way of getting there. A sorrowful path. And maybe not exactly Paradise at the end. The belief I’ve acquired over a generous and nevertheless inadequate time on earth is that we arrive in the afterlife as broken as when we departed from the world. But, on the other hand, I’ve always enjoyed a journey.

Charles Frazier, Thirteen Moons.

For more wordy spins, head on over to Sprite's Keeper.

27 comments:

Kristan said...

Maybe a voice recorder for your commute would help? You could verbalize your blogs or your writing and then only have to transcribe it later? Ionno...

Regardless, meditation is a wonderful thing. I'm sure you'll find your mantra soon enough.

Mama Badger said...

You mean "serenity now" isn't working for you?

Do you guys have any idea what my fridge looks like, with all the post it notes of book titles and authors that you all suggest? The librarian thinks I'm a nut job when I come in with or six dog eared post its that I pulled off the fridge. Sigh, time to add another one. That paragraph is beautiful.

Susan R. Mills said...

I know how you feel. There just isn't enough time in the day. I hope things calm down for you soon.

Nubian said...

Just what I needed today. Thank you.

Onedia said...

For me (in my "retired" heheha "state") it is more of a lack of self management...but I am making progress. I am after all a systems thinker with underlying lazy.

I relate to your time spent in spiritual reading and seeking the right meditative state. I did that for more than a year and found the best thing was Thich Nhat Hahn's Plum Village Bell Meditation in which the bell rings periodically and softly to gently bring the mind back into the flow of the meditative state.

As far as getting a handle (or choke hold for me) on the zillions of thoughts going thru my head daily .... I require chemical assistance and thank the world divine daily for it.

O.

Jan said...

Begging your pardon, Miss Pseudo, but you did a lovely job with this Spin.

Sprite's Keeper said...

Jan took the comment right out of my head!
That paragraph is quite lovely and deserves some deeper investigation.
You're linked!

only a movie said...

Bee Season is one of my faves. A little magical.
I've read something else by Charles Frazier and remember it being gorgeous.
Not much time for writing here. When my grad project is done (soon), I can blog again...
xo

Michele said...

This was a lovely post. Some, or in my case most all, posts don't have to be profound literary works. They just have to speak to you. Sounds like this one fits.

lakeviewer said...

All this time when thoughts and wishes are wrapped up in a fabric of semi-consciousness, ideas become solid masses, acquiring color and shape and life forces. All this time you think wasted is composting into rich soil.

tera said...

I was just reading about this book yesterday! Now I may have to actually read the book. I can live with that. :)

Brian Miller said...

wow. great exerpt...will be looking that book up...i think this new discipline will pay off as well...as you reap a thought...

Fragrant Liar said...

I thought your post was rather perfect and befitting of your current state of mind. Embrace it. :)

I too have such difficulty with the meditation, and a good writer friend of mine (who has a massive store of trivia in her brain), said the reason I have trouble with it is that my brain is always looking for words to massage and spin and turn into something humorous. And it does, this "skill" (or habit) never ceases. So when I'm chanting (as you might remember from my post, Meditationally Challenged), every word I chant has the potential to be something else and my brain, which is so often on automatic pilot, pursues the words to their "natural" funnybone conclusion. It's neverending. I hope that made sense . . .

So her suggestion to me was to get guided imagery or meditation tapes and listen to those. That way, I'm listening instead of chanting--using a different part of my brain (a less competitive part apparently). I have used such tapes long ago and did find them useful. Maybe you would too.

gretchen said...

I agree that this was perfectly lovely and well-crafted. And I think the imagery of the spinning of words is very powerful. Good for you.

Maureen@IslandRoar said...

I think you just did one hellava Spin on words my friend! And how great is it that you're taking this time to read spiritual things and meditate! I find writing is my meditation. I can't seem to find peace without words of some sort.
It's good to hear from you!! xo

Jen said...

We're supposed to plan, write and rewrite, "hone and craft" blog posts until they are just right? Uh-oh...

Captain Dumbass said...

Thanks for sharing that paragraph, it was beautiful.

Oh, and it was Ghostbusters.

mo.stoneskin said...

That's a good paragraph to share. I enjoyed it. But I've missed you though, do you have a plan?

Mrsbear said...

I have trouble squeezing in the blogging time too, more often than not actually. When I do the posts are often slapped together right about now in the 30 minutes between dropping one kid off at the bus stop and getting the others ready for school.

Your ramblings work together beautifully though. And usually the words you carefully craft blow me a way. So don't give it up just yet. ;)

Hope the meditation works out for you. It is never quiet or peaceful enough in here for that. Maybe in 15 odd years...

Ash said...

I adore the thought of the afterlife being a journey - destinations are so final.

I've taken to consciously taking 5 deep consecutive breaths at least twice a day. Never thought that would ever have to be added to my to do list :-)

Hang in there with the meditation. I'm a firm believer in just being still. One day...

Kingsmom said...

I'm with you. I quit blogging and am already back. I just am struggling with time. Do your best. We'll all be here. I hope you find your mantra. I'm still looking for mine....

Joanna Jenkins said...

This spin was pretty perfect to me Pseudo!

Thirteen Moons is now on my reading list.

And thanks for your kind words about my step-sister's recent passing. I really appreciate it.

xo jj

Sniffles and Smiles said...

I think you write beautifully...and your rough drafts are fabulous...don't sell yourself short! This was a wonderful post! How many of us feel this way? Thank you! ~Janine XO

Maggie said...

The paragraph indeed does take your breah away. And you are doing a fabulous job.

sage said...

I haven't read 13 Moons, but the opening sounds nice-I did hear him a year or so ago on NPR talking about the book. I enjoyed Frazier's earlier book on the Civil War, Cold Mountain.

btw, I posted a new Travel Tip Thursday.

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

I've been having trouble squeezing blogging in - and I didn't even move! :) Loved that paragraph - and like Mo said, you've been missed! :)

hillgrandmom said...

Those words that you quoted just call out to me and fills my heart. The thoughts are deeply familiar.