Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Traveling Melancholy

Play the video and listen while you read. That is how I wrote the post anyways...


Going to California

Not now. But probably soon. I’ll be going to California.

I know I promised you all a snorkeling post. But it ain’t gonna happen.

Soon. Soon I’ll be back to snorkeling and body boarding and walking on beaches and writing verses in journals.

Driving around the island and taking videos of the scenes at the sides of the road while I play something I like and want to share on the car CD player. Make you feel like you were here.

Make me feel like I’m in the moment.

My husband’s stepmother passed away last week. The funeral is tomorrow.

My mom in California is at a crossroads. She’s 82 and a hoarder. We (and her doctor) have been trying to get her to use her long term health care and go into an assisted living home for over two years. But she is stubborn and has some mental health issues. Seriously.

So she has waited until her luck’s run out and her debt is huge.

It’s a mess.

A mess that will have to be dealt with soon. Somehow.

I’ll be going to California where, even after 27 years here in Hawaii, where so many of my youthful memories are cast along the sides of the roads.

I’ll put some Led Zeppelin or Pink Floyd on when I get in the rental car and I’ll drive up the PCH from LA X and when I look out at the ocean or at the sagebrush on the hills the floodgates will come undone.

As soon as school is out mom, I’ll be coming to California.

Link on up and take us traveling.

29 comments:

Captain Dumbass said...

Good luck.

Shadow said...

your plate is full.... thinking of you!

Brian Miller said...

travel safe...love me some zep...

mo.stoneskin said...

Led Zepp, Pink Floyd, sounds like quite the ideal road trip. I'm impressed that you can write in your journal while snorkelling. I can't, but then women ARE better at multitasking.

blueviolet said...

Thanks for the Zeppelin this morning. I enjoyed that as I haven't heard it in years, I don't think.

I know you've been wanting to come to the mainland for a while, but I can't help but sense how bittersweet this particular journey will be. (((hugs)))

Jan said...

Oh, Pseudo honey - I'm so sorry for your husband's loss and the task before you in California. Like blueviolet said, we know you've been wanting to come to the mainland for some time now, and I'm sorry that it couldn't be for a more pleasant reason.

Keep your chin up, dear - we're here for you if you need us.

Ginny Marie said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. Best of wishes as you also deal with challenges with your mom.

Linda said...

Oh Honey. Take care of you.

Kristan said...

I'm sorry for y'all's loss, and I hope that things work out okay... :\

TechnoBabe said...

Great video, thanks for sharing it on this post. Great traveling music for sure. Sorry about your husband's step mother. Your upcoming trip to CA sounds like work. My mom is 88 and having a hard time getting around much lately.

only a movie said...

Playing Led Zeppelin in my car is always comforting. I am so sorry your trip home is looming for not-so-good reasons.
So sorry to hear of your family's loss.
xoxoxo Thinking of you.

Mama Badger said...

Well, let's be honest, that just sucks. It's always an interesting moment when our parent's go from taking care of us, to letting us go, to needing us to take care of them. Hopefully you're able to find some treasures as you help your mom divest of her 82 years. Hopefully she'll come to see it as an opportunity to reflect on her life and start a little winding down?

Whatever happens, good thoughts are with you. Try to enjoy California while you're there.

Casey said...

Ugh, sorry Pseudo. My FIL passed away a couple of weeks ago and my husband went through something similar. AND, we got to fly to PA with toddlers. May your trip contain minimal stress..

sage said...

I'm sorry for your and your husband's loss. And also about your mother...

There is something about California--I spent a few summers there taking graduate classes, in the Bay Area, and loved it (although I hated the traffic). I'll have my Travel Tip up later today, I hope.

My name is PJ. said...

I come from the school of "When it rains, it pours" and it sounds like you come from there too.

I've expressed sorrow for your step mil, but the problems with your mom will no doubt go on for some time and I'm really sorry about that. Caring for an elderly parent can be so stressful when there aren't problems, but add the problems and it's a heavy, heavy load.

My thoughts and prayer will head to CA with you. Please let me know how you are.

Anna See said...

wow. this is a lot to deal with right now. and i know the craziness that can lead up to the end of school. thinking of you, pseudo!

otin said...

Sucks that your trip is for a bad reason.

I love that song. It was always one of my favorite zep tunes.

My thoughts are with you and your family.

Sprite's Keeper said...

Hopefully this helps you too. My dad found a lot of closure when he cleaned out my grandfather's place. (My grandfather was also a hoarder. A bad one.)

Twenty Four At Heart said...

Ugh - sorry you are going thru all this!
On the other hand, if you have one millisecond away from family while you're here .... I'd love to meet you for coffee/lunch/cocktail- whatever!
Big hugs!

ds said...

Oh, so sorry for your loss, and for what you will have to be doing in California. Safe travels. Will be thinking of you...

lakeviewer said...

Oh, you'll be feeling all kinds of things when you return to L.A. See, we are all connected somehow, in some small way. I'll be thinking of you in hot L.A. as I enjoy our cool breezes on this coast.

Heather said...

Well I hope you get to have some funon your trip. So sorry to hear about your mom, I hope you can get something worked out for her.

Sniffles and Smiles said...

This is a beautifully written and heart-wrenching post. I'm so sorry that you are having to deal with so much right now. You will certainly be in my thoughts...I hope for all the best for you as you negotiate your way...and for safe passages on this life journey! Love, Janine XO

bernthis said...

when you arrive you better let me know b/c I would love to finally meet you.

Ash said...

You're in my thoughts.

Mrsbear said...

Sounds like a tough trip to make. My thoughts are with you.

gretchen said...

Oh man, this all sounds hard. So sorry. Hey, as you're heading north up the PCH, turn right and wave in my direction. I'll be about 10 miles to the east. The weather's great for a drive up the coast. Crank up the tunes and roll the windows down.

Kathy said...

:( hope that you can find some good in the trip to California that you have to take. Maybe she'll have saved some great toy that you had as a kid that you never thought you'd see again. Or it could just be piles of crap - I hope not.

Melissa B. said...

Sweet Pea...I feel for you! As one who lost both her folks the hard way, I can empathize, truly. Hope Floyd and the Zep help you negotiate the rocky terrain ahead. Just remember that we're here for you.

PS: To answer a question you posed recently: Yes, I teach Yearbook. And AP Lang. And Newspaper. A masochist, I know!