So, it seems the post where I have the most to say is the hardest to write. I am barely getting my mistakes post in under the wire for the Spin Cycle over at Sprite's Keeper.
To set the mood:
Top reasons I took so long to start spinning:
1. I started a new unit at work and have been busy lesson planning.
2. Progress reports go out next week, and since it is the last quarter I have to call each and every parent whose child is failing or may fail my class (anyone want to be me this week?).
3. Oh, trying (unsuccessfully) to keep up with the reading in my reader.
4. My husband’s hotel is slow and he has been off more, or working shorter shifts. He seems to think me being on the computer when he’s home is rude and neglectful.
5. I was a child in the 60’s and a teenager in the 70’s. I made more mistakes than could fill a book.
6. I’m a parent. Enough said there. I’m sure the mistakes I made in this arena I should let my children write about when they get their own blogs.
So, instead of a story (or a million anecdotes), I will impart my philosophy on mistakes. Wait. Don’t go. Ah. Well. For those still here….
Number One. Mistakes are a part of the learning curve. One of the biggest, and for some people (like my son) hardest lessons is to learn to own your mistakes.
Number Two. If there is an area for growth that is meant to happen and you avoid it or try to live in denial, the mistakes will escalate until the universe makes sure you get the lesson. WHAPAH!!
Number Three. People who feel the need to rub other people’s noses in their mistakes and go overboard with the negative consequences usually are the very ones who never admit their own mistakes. I suppose they figure everyone will be as hard on them as they are on others. These kinds of people are very hard to live with as their shaming and blaming just gets tiresome.
Number Four. Remember to say sorry and mean it. Sometimes presents help.
Number Five. Some mistakes are life altering or life ending. So be careful. I always think of the scene in Vanilla Sky when Tom Cruise gets into the car with Cameron Dias against his better judgment. So, listen to your instincts.
Yeah, yeah, I know. I am on record for not being a fan of Cruise. But I did see this movie and always remember the scene where he made the fatal mistake of getting in that car.
For more spins, head on over to The Spin Cycle at Sprite's Keeper.
I also want to thank Midlife Jobhunter for honoring me with the Honest Scrap award. Thank-you Jobhunter!!
It comes with rules, but I have been pretty good about following rules of late and feel the need to break the trend. So for a copy of the rules, I'd like you to head on over to this post at Jobhunter's.
I'd like to pass it on to all the spinners over at Jen's (Sprite's Keeper).
Sad to say, I don't make mistakes. Nope. Seriously. I don't.
All right, that's enough! No more hysterical laughing...
"anyone want to be me this week?"
Hmm, no computer and all my time ringing parents to talk about their failing children?
Hell, why not? I'll give it a go...
I'm terrible with mistakes. I admit them, usually a bit too willingly (maybe trying to take all the blame), but I'm awful at forgiving myself, rather than just learning and moving on.
Amen Sister!! I have found (the hard way mostly) that the best way to handle mistakes (because I make them a LOT) is to OWN them. Admit it was a mistake, take ownership that it was your mistake, and apologize and/or explain that you will not (or try not) to do that again.
Many people (including myself) are a lot more understanding if you admit your mistakes. Because everyone makes them.
PS I am sorry you have to be the bad cop right now with the parents. Please let me know if anyone cops to just having a lazy kid who didn't apply themselves.
(b/c I swear my senior year in HS when I would ditch physics b/c it sucked -- that was me.)
Popped in form SITS! No one likes making mistakes...
Teaching children how to handle mistakes is a big part of my job. But some parents find it impossible (or un-possible as Michel says) to admit their off-spring can make mistakes.
As for me, I make mistakes every day. I send out emails and forget the attachments. I lose my patience with a teacher who needs to leave early AGAIN. I say things I probably shouldn't say. But I do admit my mistakes. And I think I'm learning from them. At least most of them. Not so much with the email.
"People who feel the need to rub other people’s noses in their mistakes and go overboard with the negative consequences usually are the very ones who never admit their own mistakes. I suppose they figure everyone will be as hard on them as they are on others. These kinds of people are very hard to live with as their shaming and blaming just gets tiresome."
Good heavens - you've met my ex!
I've left you something over at my place, dear.
I have always ALWAYS learned from my mistakes. In fact, this LAST mistake has earned me a MUCH SMALLER ASS.
It got chewed off.
i never understood that movie, vanilla sky (or eyes wide shut for that matter). #3--people who feel a need to rub other people's noses in their mistakes? omg, i thought for a moment you were talking about my dad. oh wait, you were. he NEVER admits he's wrong and is always the loudest castigator. i think as we get older it (sort of) becomes easier to learn from our mistakes. i like this post, a lot : )
Like this post, Pseudo. Love the concept of the universe dope slapping you until you learn the lesson you need to learn. I've been there.
Happy Friday! Good luck w/ student & parents... I feel that pain.
Thanks so much for stopping by my site and leaving some SITS love. I really appreciate you taking a look at my rants and raves. Enjoy your site and will be back.
Brilliant post! I taught my children to own and admit their mistakes but more importantly, to learn from them. If you don't learn from them, they're sure to be repeated, as you've stated. And I do believe in karma!
Oh! Congrats on your latest award!
Greta post! (AS ALWAYS) I think it is good to let the mistakes go and not let them rule your life. Stop looking back at the what ifs.... oh if life only had do overs!
Absolutely, positively NO...I do not want to be the person calling parents telling them their child is failing. I hope you get to do something nice after calls like those...like sit on the beach and drink.
I love your list of wisdom nuggets!!
Great spin, Pseudo! I can identify with so many of your examples!
I hear you on the slow restaurant biz. My tips are down. :( I don't know what's worse.... getting sent home after 1.5 hours with $15 in my pocket or staying for 6 hours until night shift shows up (BORING!!!) and going home with $50 (maybe)
My ex NEVER makes mistakes. Don't believe me? Just ask him. He'll tell you.
Life-altering mistakes. My daughter overheard her father telling his brother "sometimes you realize, too late, that you've made a mistake". I'm not sure if he meant marrying me, leaving me for HER, going to her or marrying her. And I've decided I really don't want to know because he might mean marrying me in the first place.
Ah, well. My mistake was not throwing his ass out the night I found out about her. That is the one thing I'd do over, given the chance.
I would have to write a sequel of novels in order to list all of my mistakes and even then I think I'd run out of room!
My learning curve is more of a planetary orbit, less Mercury and more Neptune (since Pluto doesn't make the grade anymore).
Wonderful post ... and so true. I had to laugh about your #4 reason for taking so long to spin. When I get on the computer, it's like a signal starts flashing and my family comes running ... wanting this ... wanting that ... wanting attention. Even the cat sits at my feet and cries. Go figure!
Have a great weekend!
Nice...you're right, those who are quick to point out mistakes never own up to their own. I hate that.
My husband has been working from home full time for the past month and I've noticed that my blogging time has really gone down since he expects me to talk to him and stuff. How rude.
Number three should be framed! I knew someone like that who would shove everyone's noses into their mistakes and never admit to her own. Then one day, all blame went right on her, and we relished pointing the finger. She burst into tears that day. Couldn't take it. (Yeah, I felt bad about that, but damn, those 20 seconds of satisfaction felt GOOD!) You're linked and the award is frosting!
number 4 has me thinking your husband is making a mistake.
good post - thanks
I made a million mistakes in the '70s, but didn't learn from some of them until the '80s & the '90s. I'm also a big believer in karma. What goes around, ya know?
My mom has always been one to disregard your first philosophy, my whole life I've watched her make the same mistakes over and over again, all in the dating arena. Luckily I learned vicariously from her missteps. I try not to rub her nose in it though, it's bad karma...;)
I so agree with you. I think it's really sad when people can't admit to making mistakes. Every single one of us makes mistakes and being able to admit them takes a big person. But, some people can only see the mistakes in others but not in themselves.
On the other hand, I think some of us have learned to take too much responsiblity for mistakes that weren't ours...taken too much of the blame because some how we believed that it was ours. I think some of us say we are sorry for things that we shouldn't be sorry for. Maybe because it's easier or to keep peace?
I do believe that our mistakes can make us better and wiser, if we let them. With mistakes come a lesson if were willing to listen and learn. I know for me, I have repeated the same mistakes over and over again until I finally got it.
Another great post my friend!
it is nice to be able to survive our mistakes! Great points!People who have trouble owning mistakes often have fragile self esteems and survive drafting on others self esteem, you know?
PS: Today I'm showcasing the lovely award you bequeathed me. Don't forget Sx3 tomorrow...I'm offering a "real" prize!
Now this is a spin that I should have spun. Mistakes are my specialty. I like to think that I do learn from them tho. You know after the first five times I make the same one. And now I have to watch Vanilla Sky.
There are so many good points brought up in here. Like Mo and Smiles saying that some people take responsibility for more than their fiar share of mistakes - just to keep peace.
I love starrlife's phrasing that some people are "drafting on others' self esteem." What a great image.
I didn't spin this week... no freaking time, but if I had, it might have gone a little something like your post...
couldn't watch the clip.. seen the movie... can't stomach Cruise...
I LOVE that you didn't follow the rules on the award.... kick ass.
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